Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates job (millions) in the four sectors in US for the 60 years of period.

Firstly, the Healthcare and Retail showing the overall upward trend throught the period. Between 1960 to 2000, the Retail sectors job rose continouslty to 15 and Health care rise slightly to 5 in 1980 and cross the retail in 2000 by reaching 11. By the 2020, the retail sectors reached 15 and followed by the healthcare sector.

After that, the Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors seem to be followed the declined trends. The Manufacturing jobs surge to its high 20 in 1980 and then the graph shows downward trend and the reached to 13 in 2020. At the other hand, the agriculture sectors job reduced to 3 in 1980 and the trend remain contant between 1980 to 2000. After that the slight decrease in trend observed and jobs reached to all time low at 2 in 2020.

Overall , the Healthcare and retail sectors trend demonstrated the better performance. The agriculture and Manufacturing jobs in sector was remained in low performance trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all four sectors of the economy (Healthcare, Retail, Manufacturing, and Agriculture) and provides key data points across the timeline from 1960 to 2020. You presented a clear overview in the final paragraph noting the upward trends in Healthcare and Retail and the declining or low performance in Agriculture and Manufacturing. However, there are minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, Healthcare reached 16 million by 2020, matching Retail, rather than being 'followed by' in a lesser sense as implied. Additionally, the opening sentence has awkward phrasing ('job (millions) in the four sectors in US'). Overall, all parts of the task are addressed, though data precision and overview synthesis could be slightly sharper for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is structured into four clear paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs detailing specific trends, and a concluding overview. Cohesive devices and sequence markers are used throughout, such as 'Firstly', 'After that', and 'Overall'. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes mechanical or clunky, as seen with 'At the other hand' (incorrect collocation) and 'the trend remain contant'. Paragraphing is logical, grouping the growing sectors together and the declining sectors together, which aids readability and overall logical progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with appropriate lexical items such as 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'surge', and 'all time low'. However, there are several lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'showing' instead of 'show', 'continouslty' (misspelling of continuously), 'contant' (misspelling of constant), and the preposition error 'jobs in sector'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success, and word formation issues restrict the score to a 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You have attempted a mix of simple and complex sentence structures throughout the response, such as 'Between 1960 to 2000, the Retail sectors job rose continouslty...' and 'While the Manufacturing jobs surge...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the Healthcare and Retail showing', 'sectors job'), incorrect prepositions ('in US' instead of 'in the US'), and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical inaccuracy is noticeable and occasionally causes slight strain for the reader.

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