Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
the line chart illustrates the number of employed in four different department of the economy in the United state from 1960 to 2020.
overall, It can be seen that, the number of job in manufacturing and health care decreased over the given peried .while retail and agriculture increassed sharply. Unit was measserd in millions.
looking at the details, in 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing area recorded at exactly 15 million, after two decades, it was gradually increase and reaching at peak to 20 million .The
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response is severely under-length, containing only 87 words against the required 150-word minimum, which heavily restricts the development of the task. While the student attempts an overview and mentions some initial data points, the report is abruptly cut off mid-sentence and fails to cover all four economic sectors adequately. Specifically, the data for healthcare is inaccurately described as decreasing in the overview when it actually rose significantly, and retail and agriculture trends are misstated in the summary. Due to the incomplete nature of the response and failure to meet the minimum word count, the task achievement is limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text attempts a basic structure with an introduction, a brief overview, and a starting point for the details. However, the essay is incomplete, breaking off abruptly after a few sentences. Cohesive devices are minimal, and referencing is basic. Paragraphing is attempted, but the lack of completion prevents a clear logical progression from being fully established throughout the response.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive (e.g., 'number of jobs', 'decreased', 'increased'). There are also noticeable lexical and spelling inaccuracies, such as 'United state' instead of 'United States', 'peried' instead of 'period', and 'measserd' instead of 'measured'. The incorrect description of economic trends also impacts vocabulary effectiveness in context, limiting the score to a band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response shows a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent errors. Examples include capitalization issues ('It can be seen that, the number of job...'), incorrect verb forms ('it was gradually increase and reaching at peak'), and punctuation errors. The sentence structure breaks down completely at the end where the text stops mid-sentence.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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