Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrates the number of employed in four different departments of the economy in the United State from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, It can be seen that, the number of job in manufacturing and agriculture decreased over the given period. While retail and healthcare increased sharply. Unit measured in millions.
Looking at the details, in 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing area recorded at exactly 15 millions. After two decades it was gradually increase to a peak at exactly 20 millions then fell dramatically until the terminal year. Furthermore, the amount of employment sector in agriculture stood at approximately 5 millions in 1960. Then, the figure fell gradually over the next 2 decades, noticed over the 5 millions thereafter figure remained stable by the end of period.
Delving into the remaining details, the amount of job in retail and sectors witnessed at about 5 millions in 1960 and at approximately 3 millions in the initial year. Afterwards, they showed significantly increase till reaching just over 15s million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to provide an overview and detailed comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing jobs 'fell dramatically until the terminal year,' whereas the graph shows manufacturing decreasing after 1980 down to 13 million in 2020. Additionally, the description of agricultural and retail trends contains confusing phrasing and inaccurate numbers, such as claiming agricultural figures 'remained stable by the end of period' despite dropping to 2 million, and stating retail started at 'about 5 millions in 1960 and at approximately 3 millions in the initial year,' which contradicts the chart. The overview captures the general upward and downward trends, but the lack of precision in data reporting pulls the score to Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is divided into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview, and separate body paragraphs for details. However, internal cohesion is frequently awkward and mechanical. Expressions like 'Looking at the details,' 'Delving into the remaining details,' and 'Afterwards, they showed significantly increase' disrupt the natural flow. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, and punctuation errors (such as fragmenting the overview into an isolated sentence fragment 'Unit measured in millions.') detract from the overall readability. Paragraphing is attempted appropriately, placing the response at a Band 5.5, but the frequent lapses in cohesive devices and logical progression prevent a higher score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent word-formation and collocation errors. Examples include 'number of employed' instead of 'number of employees/jobs', 'departments of the economy' instead of 'sectors', and 'amount of employment sector'. There are also awkward grammatical word forms such as 'gradually increase' (instead of increased) and 'significantly increase' (instead of a significant increase). While the student attempts less common vocabulary like 'terminal year' and 'dramatically', the high frequency of lexical inaccuracies places this response firmly in the Band 5.0 category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, with frequent grammatical errors that impede comprehension. Examples of errors include tense inconsistencies and incorrect verb forms, such as 'it was gradually increase to a peak' and 'jobs in manufacturing area recorded at exactly 15 millions' (missing passive auxiliary). There are also issues with pluralisation and prepositions ('in 1960 ... in the initial year'). Complex sentence attempts are often faulty, and basic sentence construction lacks control. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, the grammar aligns with Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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