Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The following graph demonstrates the four sectors of economy in the US that provides the information about the frequency of jobs from 1960 to 2020.
According to the graph, the four sectors are presenting an abvious change from the initiation to the end. Manufacturing and healthcare sectors shows an intense job market shift as from 1960, manufacturing department was the only one who is ruling the job industry but gradually face a downfall. On the other hand healthcare presents a great shift by climbing from minimum to maximun since 1960 to 2020.
If I put a light on a peak year, 1980 was the only year that represents a great turning point for retail and healthcare department by providing 5 million jobs in healthcare and 10 million in retail. But on the other hand, agriculture sector faces a sudden downfall in this year by reducing the jobs from 5 million to nearly zero.
In 2020, besides agriculture the rest of the thee sectors presents a remarkable success in job market by providing nearly 15 million jobs and with that become the peak year for healthcare and retails.
In conclusion, all the four departments are improving there job frequency rate but manufacturing sector dominates from start till the end by minor just drop as comapired to healthcare.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the main trends in the four economic sectors, but contains significant inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing was 'ruling the job industry' but dropped, which is generally true, but misreads 1980 by claiming retail and healthcare provided 5 million and 10 million respectively (healthcare was 5 million in 1980, but retail was 10 million; however, agriculture did not fall to 'nearly zero' in 1980, it fell to 3 million and remained there until 2020). Furthermore, the conclusion contains factual errors about the trends. While an overview is attempted, the inaccurate reporting of figures and lack of proper data selection place this at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor transitions and informal phrasing, such as 'If I put a light on a peak year'. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or misused ('On the other hand', 'besides agriculture'). Paragraphing is present, but the overall internal cohesion of sentences is weak, leading to a choppy reading experience. This aligns with the Band 5 descriptors for logical flow and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with several awkward collocations and spelling errors (e.g., 'abvious' for obvious, 'thee' for three, 'comapired' for compared). Words like 'department' are used incorrectly to describe economic sectors like manufacturing and agriculture. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary ('fluctuation', 'dominates'), the inaccuracies and limited range restrict the score to Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical accuracy is quite low. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the four sectors are presenting', 'manufacturing department was... who is ruling') and tense consistency. Punctuation is basic, and sentence structures are often awkward or run-on, which can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. These issues are characteristic of a Band 5 performance in grammar.
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