Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
THE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE WORK IN THE DIFFERENT SECTORS OF ECONOMY BETWEEN THE DURATION OF PERIOD FROM 1960 TO 2020 IN US.
IN COMPARISON OF ALL THE SECTORS , AGRRICULTURE HAS SHOWN A SIGNIFICANT GROWTH . FROM 1960 TO 1980 IT GREW SLIGHTLY , LATER ON IT EXPERIENCED A SIGNIFICANT INCREASE UNTIL 2020 . AND RETAIL SECTOR WAS IN INCREASING STAGE UNTIL 2000 AND IN NEXT PHASE IN ROSE INSIGNIFICANTLY TILL 2020.
IN CONTRAST , HEALTHCARE AND MANUFACTURING SHOWED A DECREASING FALL . HEALTHCARE FROM 1960 TO 1980 DIPPED SLIGHTLY AND REMAINDED RELATIVELY STABLE THORUGHOUT THE PERIOD UNTIL 2000 AND DROPPED NEGLIBLE IN 2020 . BUT MANUFACTURING ROSE CONSIDERABLY FROM 15 TO 20 MILLIONS IN YEAR FROM 1960 TO 1980 BUT FELL AGAIN IN 2000 AND TILL 2020 IT WENT DECREASING .
OVERALL , AMONG ALL THE SECTORS , AGRICULTURE AND RETAIL HAVE IN IN GROWTH STAGE AND REMAINING TWO SECTORS HAVE BEEN IN DECREASING ONE .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The student attempts to report the main features of the graph, but there are severe factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the text claims that agriculture showed significant growth from 3 to millions or a high increase, whereas the actual graph shows agriculture starting at 6 million in 1960 and declining steadily to 2 million in 2020. Conversely, it claims healthcare and manufacturing showed a decreasing fall, yet healthcare rose substantially from 2 million to 16 million. These widespread reversals of the actual trends mean the response fails to accurately present the core information, pulling the task achievement score down to Band 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion, which provides a basic structure. However, logical organization is heavily undermined by the factual errors in the data description, making the progression difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as beginning sentences with 'IN COMPARISON OF ALL THE SECTORS' or 'IN CONTRAST', but their mechanical application fails to link ideas coherently due to the contradictory statements within the body paragraphs. Paragraphing is attempted, but overall cohesion is faulty, aligning with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very limited and repetitive, featuring basic terms like 'SECTORS', 'ECONOMY', 'GROWTH', and 'INCREASE'. Furthermore, there are multiple word choice and spelling errors, such as 'AGRRICULTURE', 'REMAINEDED', 'NEGLIBLE' instead of negligibly, and 'INSIGNIFICANTLY'. The misuse of vocabulary directly impedes communication because the words chosen convey the exact opposite meaning of the actual data trends. This falls under the Band 4.0 criteria where vocabulary is basic and errors frequently strain the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and some complex structures, but the writing is marred by frequent grammatical and punctuation errors. Examples include 'IN THE DIFFERENT SECTORS OF ECONOMY' lacking articles, 'IN NEXT PHASE IN ROSE' containing tense and preposition errors, and awkward phrasing like 'WENT DECREASING'. The extensive use of all-caps throughout the text is also inappropriate for formal academic writing. While a basic sentence structure is discernible, the frequency of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing justifies a Band 4.0 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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