Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates details on the amount of employment in manufactoring, retail, agriculture and health sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020. The unit of measures is millions.

In a cursoray glance, it is clearly evident that number of employment in two major sectors experienced substaintial growth, while the other two fell down steadily in 1980, respectively.

To commence with, the employment rate in manufactoring sector was at 15 million, however, it surged around 20 million in 1980. it then went down steadily remaining just above10 million in 2020. At the start of period, retail sector's job market went from around 5 million to nearly 15 million and it increased rapidly uptil 20.

On the other hand, intially number of jobs in healthcare sector were at the lowest just below 5 million in 1960, however, it hiked up significantly from 1980 uptil to 2020. Agriculture's employment rate was just above 5 million in 1960 but it fell down rapidly until it was around slighlty above 1 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The student attempts to cover all four sectors of the economy (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) across the specified timeframe from 1960 to 2020. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, although it contains some imprecise phrasing and minor factual inaccuracies regarding the trends ('fell down steadily in 1980, respectively'). Key features are identified, such as the manufacturing peak and subsequent decline, and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, there are some data misreadings, such as stating retail increased 'uptil 20' when it reached 16 million, and punctuation/number formatting issues. While the main features are highlighted, the support is occasionally imprecise, placing this response in Band 5.5 to 6.0 territory; it leans towards Band 6.0 for addressing all parts of the task with relevant data points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is structured into distinct paragraphs, starting with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and then body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'In a cursoray glance', 'To commence with', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and paragraphing transitions are sometimes mechanical or awkward. For instance, the overview paragraph is very brief and grammatically disjointed. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs lacks seamless flow. Overall, the arrangement is coherent, earning a Band 6.0 under the descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary relevant to the visual data, including terms like 'employment', 'sectors', 'surged', and 'significantly'. However, there are several spelling errors ('manufactoring' instead of manufacturing, 'cursoray' instead of cursory, 'substaintial' instead of substantial, 'intially' instead of initially, 'uptil' instead of up until, 'slighlty' instead of slightly) and imprecise word choices. The lexical control is inconsistent, and these spelling mistakes and word formation errors restrict the score to Band 5.5, as they occasionally distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as introductory subordinate clauses ('At the start of period, retail sector's job market went...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text. Examples include missing articles ('number of employment', 'retail sector's'), subject-verb agreement errors ('number of jobs in healthcare sector were'), and run-on sentences with incorrect capitalization ('it then went down...'). While communication is generally maintained, the frequency of grammatical inaccuracies prevents the response from achieving a Band 6.0, placing it firmly at Band 5.0.

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