Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In, 1960 there is huge number of jobs in US .The number Job is around about 15 million in manufacturing company's in 1960 and it increases number of jobs day by day at the end of 1980 it reached about 20 million of jobs and then decrease slowly slowly every year at the end of 2020 there is only 10 millions of jobs in manufacturing. now we discussed about the retail jobs in the beginning of 1960 there is very few of job for people but time to Time there will be progess in retail job and increase with consistently in the 1980 there is 10 million of jobs and in 2000 there is 15 millions of job .At the end of 2020 they set the record of 16 million of jobs . The agricultural job is the reverse or opposite of retail jobs in 1960 there's is a almost 6 million of jobs but increase day by day at the last there is a few number of job in 2020. now we talk about the health care Job department it will show progess from time to time there's is only 2 million job in 1960 but it increases time to time and upgrade there health care department at the the end of 2020 the health care jobs on its peak there is almost 16 million of job in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to report key features and trends, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 at around 20 million and retail rising to 16 million. However, the task achievement is hindered by several inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that manufacturing reached 10 million at the end of 2020, whereas the graph shows approximately 13 million. Furthermore, agricultural jobs are incorrectly described as increasing 'day by day' when the data clearly shows a steady downward trend from 6 million to 2 million. While all sectors are addressed, the lack of an overarching introductory overview and the factual misreadings of the data limit the development to a Band 5.5 level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay lacks proper paragraphing entirely, being written as a single, dense block of text. There is no clear visual division between the introduction, body details, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are either missing or conversational and repetitive, relying heavily on transitional phrases like 'now we discussed about' and 'time to time'. The logical progression is also disrupted because the transitions between different economic sectors feel abrupt and conversational rather than academic. Overall, the structural shortcomings and weak mechanical referencing restrict the coherence and cohesion to a Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is largely basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple verbs like 'increase', 'show', and 'reach'. There are notable lexical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'huge number of jobs', 'retail job', and 'health care Job department'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'progess' (spelled incorrectly as progress) and 'record', but control is weak. Spelling and word choice errors are noticeable throughout the text, occasionally forcing the reader to re-read to understand the intended meaning. This performance fits the Band 5.0 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of run-on simple and compound clauses joined improperly by commas or conjunctions, such as in 'The number Job is around about 15 million in manufacturing company's in 1960 and it increases number of jobs day by day'. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('there is very few of job', 'the health care jobs on its peak'), punctuation (misuse of commas, lack of full stops), and plurals ('company's', 'millions of job'). Complex sentence forms are rarely attempted accurately, resulting in frequent errors that cause some difficulty for the reader, placing this response at Band 5.0.

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