Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the figure of employments in four sectors of economy in the America from 1960 to 2020

overall, it can be seen that Retail and Healthcare increased throughout the period, while manufacturing and Agriculture decreased

to begin with manufacturing stood at 15 millions in 1960 before increasing to 20 millions in 1980 They then decline slightly to 17 millions in 2000 it again decrease from 17 millions to almost 15 millions in 2020

Retail lose slightly from 5 millions to 10 in 1980 After that it increase sharply in 2000 and reach at 15 millions following that it almost remained stable in 2020

Agriculture decrease gragually from 6 millions to 3 millions in 1980 After that it remained almost stable in 2000 Then it denease

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the line graph, identifying that Retail and Healthcare increased while manufacturing and Agriculture decreased. However, there are significant omissions and inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing 'decrease from 17 millions to almost 15 millions in 2020', whereas the actual figure dropped to around 13 million. Furthermore, the description of Agriculture is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence ('Then it denease'). Additionally, the response falls short of the 150-word minimum, containing only 131 words, which incurs a penalty under Task Achievement. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay lacks proper paragraphing, with most of the text running together or broken by missing punctuation and capitalization (e.g., 'overall, it can be seen...' and 'to begin with manufacturing...'). While there are basic cohesive devices used to sequence time periods ('in 1960', 'in 1980', 'After that'), the lack of full stops, commas, and clear paragraph breaks makes the overall progression difficult to follow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the text ends abruptly without concluding the final trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive ('increased', 'decrease', 'millions', 'stable'). There are several lexical and word-choice errors, such as 'figure of employments' instead of 'number of jobs', 'Retail lose slightly' instead of 'fell slightly', and spelling errors like 'gragually' and 'denease'. The range is strictly limited and barely adequate to convey the basic meaning of the visual data, preventing it from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There is a total absence of standard punctuation, with sentences running into one another without capital letters or full stops. The sentence structures are overly simplistic or faulty when complexity is attempted. Errors include incorrect verb forms ('Retail lose slightly' instead of 'fell'), missing articles, and incomplete sentences ('Then it denease'). These frequent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader.

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