Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph provides the data on four different employment fields in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, The manufacturing job was highest in the beginning year later it dramatically fell down to the third. The health care and retail had the massive growth in that time frame.
Manufacturing was largest contributor in US economy with 15 millions job created alone in the year 1960 and even highest further 20 millions employments generated in the year 1980 before falling to just below 15 millions in 2020. Retail , the second largest in the year 1960 with more than 5 millions job rose significanly to around 16 millions job in 2020.
Agriculture started together with retail in 1960 with slightly above 5 millions job. Later, it declined steadily to approximately 2 millions job in 2020. Among all, health care sector escalated rapidly being lowest with just around 2 millions job in 1960 to highest together with retail with slightly more than 15 millions job. Retail and the health care had the most dramatic growth over the time period between 1960 to 2020 while agriculture sector contibuted least to the US economy in all years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student successfully covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and makes relevant comparisons across the 1960-2020 timeline. An overview is provided, noting the main trends such as the rise of healthcare and retail alongside the fluctuation of manufacturing and decline of agriculture. However, there are minor inaccuracies in reporting precise data points; for instance, stating that retail was around '16 millions job in 2020' is reasonably accurate, but describing healthcare as 'lowest with just around 2 millions job in 1960 to highest together with retail with slightly more than 15 millions job' misses that healthcare actually reached 16 million in 2020. Despite these minor discrepancies, the overall response fulfills the requirements of Task 1 well.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overall summary, and two body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'Later', and 'Among all'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate general trends from specific data points. However, some referencing is slightly clunky or repetitive, such as starting multiple sentences with temporal markers in a mechanical way. Overall, logical progression is maintained throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common items such as 'dramatically fell down', 'massive growth', and 'escalated rapidly'. There are, however, several word formation and collocation errors, such as 'beginning year' instead of 'initial year', '15 millions job' instead of '15 million jobs', and 'contibuted' (spelling error). Despite these flaws, the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main features of the graph clearly, fitting the Band 6 profile.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Manufacturing was largest contributor in US economy with 15 millions job created alone...' and 'Retail and the health care had the most dramatic growth over the time period...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, including missing articles ('the US economy'), pluralization errors ('15 millions job'), and slight prepositional inaccuracies. However, these errors do not impede communication, and the meaning remains clear throughout.
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