Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the first look the graph shows number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. In axsis x we have jobs in millions and at axsis y we have years from 1960 to 2020. If we look to the manufacturing from 1960 to 1980 it is increased from 15 million to 20 million after 1980 to 2020 it is decreased from 20 million to 13 million.The growth of retail job from 1980 to 2020 is increased from 6 million to 16 million .Now the agriculture jobs in 1960 were at its peak 6 million afterwards till 2020 it decresed to 3 million.Healthcare in the year 1960 were at 3 million after that it goes bullish from 1960 to 2020 to 16millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, coming in at 130 words. While the student attempts to report data for all four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare), there are several inaccuracies in reading the axes and data points. For instance, the student states that the x-axis shows jobs in millions and the y-axis shows years, which is the exact reverse of the actual graph. Furthermore, some data points are misreported, such as claiming agriculture jobs were at their peak in 1960 at 6 million (which is correct) but misstating healthcare starting figures and trends. Because the word count is under the minimum and key information is inaccurately reported or confused regarding the axes, the task achievement is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text lacks proper paragraphing, presented instead as a single block of text. Cohesive devices are extremely basic and repetitive, heavily relying on time phrases like 'from 1960 to 1980' and 'afterwards till 2020'. Furthermore, there is a lack of an overall overview, which is essential for a Band 6 or higher in Academic Task 1. The logical progression is difficult to follow due to the chaotic description of the axes and data points right at the beginning. Overall organization is weak and mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and limited. The student relies on simple verbs such as 'shows', 'is increased', and 'decreased'. There are awkward lexical choices or informal expressions, such as 'goes bullish' to describe upward trends in healthcare, which is inappropriate for an academic report. Spelling is mostly accurate, but the range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate flexibility or precision, restricting the score to a Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response contains a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are frequently faulty. Examples of grammatical errors include preposition and article misuse, such as 'In the first look', 'At axsis x', and 'The growth of retail job'. Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are also problematic, as seen in 'Healthcare in the year 1960 were at 3 million'. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader.

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