Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

So first of all we start with the manufacuring sector of the US between 1960 to 2020, if we take a look at the manufacuring sector and talk about its meaning and purpose,then we came to know that, its all about the manufacturing of different products in the US like, cars,bikes and ships etc. Its include every product which is being manufactured by the people of US in different factories and states.SO if we come to the point,then we came to know that in 1960 almost 15 million people of US from different states acquired their jobs in the manufacturing sector and it gradually increased in quite high speed and after 20 years of time it reached to 20 millions but after that it started decreasing and drops to the 17 million in next 2 decades and it did not stop there and continuesly decreasing and dropped to 13 million in the next 20 years till 2020.

so o the other hand if take a look at the retail sector then we will know that it increased from 1960 to 2020 and there is no drop of jobs in this sector of US economy.In the 1960 the retail sector has almost 7 million jobs and it started increasing and reached to the 10 million and then 15 million in next 2 decades and then stopped at 16 millions almost till 2020.

furthermore, the agriculture sector decreased in its time from 1960 to 2020.In the 1960 it has 7 millions jobs acquired by the US people but it decreased to almost 3 million in next two decades and continuesly decreasing till 2020 and dropped to almost 2 million from 7 million.

and at last, we will talk about the healthcare sector and we will come to know that this sector increased the most in 6 decades. The healthcare jobs were almost 3 million in the start of 1960 and started increasing fastly and reached out to 5 million in 1980, and after that when the time goes on people take much interest in these jobs of health care sector and due to the interest and need of the US people it reached out to almost 17 million till 2020 and came equally to the retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt by reporting data across the four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020, providing accurate figures such as the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and its subsequent decline to 13 million. However, the response is heavily diluted by unnecessary and irrelevant background commentary and definitions, such as explaining what manufacturing means ('cars, bikes and ships etc. Its include every product...'). This detracts from a concise, academic summary of the main features and comparisons. An overview is present implicitly through the progression of the paragraphs, but it lacks a clear, cohesive summary statement characteristic of higher bands. Therefore, the task is addressed, but with noticeable digressions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The text is organized into four paragraphs, each dedicated to a different sector. However, the internal progression within sentences is hindered by a heavy reliance on conversational connectors and fillers, such as 'So first of all we start with', 'if we come to the point,then we came to know that', and 'and at last'. Paragraphing is used to separate the categories, but referencing and cohesive devices are repetitive and mechanical ('and it gradually increased', 'and after that', 'and then'). There is a lack of sophisticated overarching cohesion, which holds the score at band 5.5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, successfully conveying basic trends such as 'increased', 'decreased', and 'dropped'. However, the range is limited and repetitive, with frequent reliance on basic verbs and adjectives. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'acquired their jobs' instead of 'were employed' or 'held jobs', and 'started increasing fastly' instead of 'rapidly'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'manufacuring' and 'continuesly'. While communication is not severely impeded, the lexical control is characteristic of a band 5.5 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many sentences are overly long, run-on structures joined by coordinating conjunctions like 'and' or conversational fillers (e.g., 'so if we come to the point,then we came to know that in 1960 almost 15 million people... and it gradually increased... and after 20 years...'). Grammatical accuracy is inconsistent, with errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the retail sector has' instead of 'had'), and missing articles. These errors and the lack of proper punctuation (such as spaces after commas and periods) cause occasional difficulty for the reader.

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