Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this graph we discuss the information of jobs in four sectors of us economy between 1960 to 2020 .we are summarise the information and make the report of main features or moreover comparisons relevant data. so firstly in 1960 first sector manufacturing department 15 millions jobs in US economy but they rise up 15 too 20 millions jobs gets in US economy .in this graph manufacturing department fall down in since 2000 more over the again fall down in 2020. on the other hand retail show in this graph in trieangal sine they start in 1960 too boost up to 10 millions jobs in 1980 but on the other hand they grow up in 15 millions jobs in 2000 but they can not stope in this point they fall up slowly in 2020 but on the other hand in agriculture they start in 5 millions in 1960 but they fall down in 1980 the points move down between 0 to 5 and same as in 1980 moreover then 2020. on the other hand healthcare they work well. they start between 0 to 5 but on the other hand fall up in [redacted phone] and 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph regarding the four employment sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020. However, the data reporting is often inaccurate, vague, or confusing, such as stating that manufacturing went 'from 15 too 20 millions' and describing agriculture and healthcare with imprecise phrases like 'between 0 to 5'. Furthermore, there is no clear overall overview provided at the beginning or end of the response, which is essential for a Band 6 or above in Academic Task 1. The writer relies heavily on fragmented observations rather than a well-structured summary. Consequently, the performance aligns best with Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The organization of the text is severely hindered by a lack of proper paragraphing, as the entire response is presented as a single, continuous block of text. Cohesive devices are repetitive and poorly managed, with phrases like 'on the other hand' overused awkwardly throughout the text (e.g., used multiple times in a single sentence). Logical progression is missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends smoothly. Although chronological elements are mentioned, the lack of paragraph breaks and mechanical use of connectors pull the score down to Band 4.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily restricted to everyday terms. The student struggles with word choice and collocation, evidenced by phrases like 'department' instead of 'sector', and non-standard expressions such as 'trieangal sine' and 'fall up slowly'. Spelling errors ('stope', 'too') and awkward phrasing occur frequently, which often strains the reader's comprehension. While the names of the economic sectors are correctly copied from the prompt, the overall lexical range and control remain limited, fitting the Band 4.0 descriptors closely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text consists of poorly controlled simple and compound structures, often strung together without proper punctuation or capitalization. There are frequent errors in verb tense and agreement, such as 'we discuss', 'we are summarise', and 'retail show... they start'. Complex sentence structures are either absent or attempted with frequent errors that obscure the meaning. Basic punctuation is largely neglected, resulting in run-on sentences. This demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors, corresponding to Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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