Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the the number of jobs in the economy of a country over a period of [redacted phone] in four sectors namely manufacture, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

Overall, graph depicts an upward trend in retail and health care sectors, while a decrease can be seen in manufacturing and agriculture sectors between the period of 1960 to 2020.

firstly stating about manufacturing industry the number of jobs in 1960 was 15 millions which continued to increase and hit the highest figure of 20 million by 1980 and then started decreasing gradually, by the end of 2020 it remained to 14 million only. secondly we will discuss about retail industry which shows a contrasr contrast trend, approx 6 million in 1960 then started declining, after 1980 curve showed a platued figure which remained only 2 million by 2020.

on Contrast, Retail and healthcare industry illustrates a silimilar pattern of continuous growth initiating from two million amd six million in 1960 to 15 million by the end of 2020.

in conclusion, the two sectors healthcare and retail shows a tremendous rise as compared to other two sectors depicts a decline in number of jobs in united states between the period of [redacted phone].

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student covers all four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and attempts to report main features and comparisons, satisfying the basic requirements of Task 1. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, the student states that the retail industry showed a 'contrasr contrast trend, approx 6 million in 1960 then started declining, after 1980 curve showed a platued figure which remained only 2 million by 2020,' which completely misinterprets the retail and agriculture data shown on the graph. Retail actually grew significantly from 6 million to 16 million. Furthermore, manufacturing in 2020 ended at around 13 million, not 14 million. The overview is present but contains contradictory statements about retail. Because of these data errors and some confusion between the sectors, the task achievement is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is structured into an introduction, an overview, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor paragraphing choices and confusing signposting phrases, such as 'firstly stating about manufacturing industry' and 'secondly we will discuss about retail industry.' Furthermore, the student mistakenly groups retail with agriculture in one sentence ('remained only 2 million by 2020') and then contradicts themselves immediately in the next paragraph by saying 'on Contrast, Retail and healthcare industry illustrates a silimilar pattern of continuous growth.' Cohesive devices are used awkwardly ('on Contrast'), and referencing is frequently unclear, making the flow disjointed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary relevant to the visual data, using words such as 'sectors,' 'economy,' 'upward trend,' 'decreasing,' and 'gradually.' However, there are numerous lexical errors, typos, and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'manufacture' instead of manufacturing, 'contrasr contrast,' 'platued' instead of plateaued, and 'silimilar.' Less common vocabulary is used with noticeable inaccuracy. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey a basic topic, frequent word-choice errors and spelling mistakes restrict the lexical score to this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent punctuation and capitalization errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters ('firstly,' 'on Contrast,' 'in conclusion'). Run-on sentences and comma splices are common, for example: '...manufacturing industry the number of jobs in 1960 was 15 millions which continued to increase...' Grammatical errors such as '15 millions' (instead of million) and subject-verb agreement issues ('the two sectors healthcare and retail shows') frequently occur. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader.

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