Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In this graph here we see about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between [redacted phone]. Now,we discus about first manufacturing in 1960 its low ratio but in 1980 the feature of manufacturing jobs ration is good and high and better than the previous 20 years.
In 2000 there again downfall but its less than the 1960. After 20 years economy about manufacturing is more decrease than the previous all years.
Now we discuss about the retail market in US in 1960 the number of jobs in retail is very low but with the passage of time it will be grow up in1980 it will be high rate and also after 20 years in2000 its jobs ration more high in 2020 it may also increase their jobs ratio better than all previous years.
In agriculture economy jobs are move from high to low in 1960 their job ration is better and stable but with the passage of time it will decrease till 2020.
In healtcare their jobs are move from low to more than high in1960 the jobs ratio is low but its grow rapidly and make more jobs till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The student attempts to cover all four economic sectors shown in the graph (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) between 1960 and 2020. However, the response lacks an overall summary or clear overview, jumping straight into individual sector details using conversational filler phrases like 'Now, we discus about first manufacturing'. Furthermore, many of the figures are described vaguely or inaccurately; for instance, manufacturing is said to have a 'low ratio' in 1960 when it actually started at 15 million jobs. The lack of precise data reporting and the absence of a distinct introduction or overview statement pull the task achievement score down to the band 4 level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The organization of the response is poor. There is no clear paragraphing strategy, as the text is divided into a block of run-on sentences that group different sectors haphazardly or mash them together without logical transitions. The progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive, conversational linkers such as 'with the passage of time it will be grow up' and 'Now we discuss about'. Cohesive devices are either misused, inadequate, or entirely absent, resulting in a text where information and ideas are not arranged coherently. Paragraph breaks are not used effectively to separate different economic trends.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily influenced by spoken style, such as 'jobs ration' (instead of number of jobs or employment figures), 'grow up', and 'more decrease'. There are numerous word-choice and collocation errors throughout the response, including 'economy about manufacturing' and 'healtcare'. The range of vocabulary is limited and insufficient to discuss data trends precisely, frequently forcing the reader to guess the intended meaning due to awkward phrasing like 'move from low to more than high'. These persistent errors strain the reader and restrict the score to band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is severely restricted, relying almost entirely on simple sentences or faulty complex attempts joined incorrectly with commas or conjunctions. There is a total lack of control over tense consistency and verb forms, with errors such as 'we discus about', 'it will be grow up', 'its jobs ration more high', and 'in healtcare their jobs are move'. Punctuation is neglected, leading to run-on sentences and missing capitalization or spacing around punctuation marks. Errors are extremely frequent and frequently distort meaning, aligning the grammar score with band 4.
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