Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In 1960 manufacturing rises but agricultural system in this year decreased Healthcare in 1960 also face decline In 1980 healthcare system and retail rises while manufacturing start facing decline agriculture remains same in this year In 2000 retail and healthcare face big rise just like pervious years agriculture decreases and manufacturing face huge decline In 2020 retail in comparison of previous years rising upto 15 and healthcare also rise upto 15 job in millions while agriculture still decreasing since 1960
and manufacturing decreasing since 1980.Numbers of job in four sector of the economy in US have huge ups and downs.Manufacturing faces huge decline in these years also agriculture seems same during these years.Healthcare from 1980 to 2020 shows positive rise which might be good.Retial also have huge rise since 1960.Overall From 1960 to 2020 all four factor in economy of US faces huge difference while rise in health care shows continuously rise during these years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four economic sectors, but the information is often inaccurate, vague, or misread. For instance, the student states that manufacturing rises in 1960 (it was actually 15 million and peaked in 1980 at 20 million, rather than starting a rise from a lower point) and claims that retail and healthcare reached 15 million in 2020 (healthcare reached 16 million, and retail reached 16 million). Furthermore, the overview provided at the end is repetitive and fails to clearly summarize the overarching trends. Because key features are inaccurately reported and the progression of data is confused throughout, the task achievement falls short of Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay lacks clear paragraphing, being presented as one large block of text followed by a second chunky paragraph. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, and mechanical, with phrases like 'In 1960', 'In 1980', and 'In 2000' overused to link sentences without creating a smooth progression of ideas. The referencing is often unclear, such as 'agricultural system in this year decreased' and 'all four factor in economy of US faces huge difference', which disrupts the logical flow. There is no clear overall progression or cohesive structure.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'rises', 'decrease', 'face', and 'huge'. There are frequent word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'agricultural system in this year decreased', 'healthcare system ... rises', and 'all four factor in economy of US faces huge difference'. Spelling errors and incorrect word forms (such as 'Retial' and 'pervious') are also present. The range of vocabulary is barely adequate to convey the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is severely restricted, consisting mainly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are plagued by errors. There is an almost complete lack of punctuation, resulting in run-on sentences and clauses run together without commas or full stops. Frequent errors include missing articles ('in US', 'four sector'), incorrect verb tenses and forms ('manufacturing rises', 'agriculture decreases and manufacturing face', 'retail ... rising upto 15'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('all four factor ... faces'). These grammatical errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.