Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph is showing about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US.

In 1960 the healthcare sector job is about 0 percent and in 1980 it gradually rises at 5 and in 2000 it was increase more and in 2020 it reaches about 15.In 1960 manufacturing sector is about 15 millions in 1980 and rises at 20 millions jobs in 1990 and in 2000 yhe manufacturing sector was decreased than 20 millions and in 2020 it decrease from 15 and now we have to discus s about retail sector in 1960it qas about 5 millions jobs and it gradually increses year by year and in 2020it reaches about 15 millions and now there is sector agriculture sector in 1960 its about 5 miilion of job but in 1980 ,2000 and 2020 it became decrese from 5 million .This is the sector which jobs is less than other sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to cover all four sectors of the economy as shown in the graph, fulfilling the basic requirement to report main features and make comparisons. However, the data points reported contain inaccuracies when compared against the visual data, such as stating healthcare was about 0 percent in 1960 (it was 2 million) and misreporting manufacturing trends. The overview is absent, and the piece lacks a structured presentation of data. Furthermore, the progression feels disjointed because of mechanical listing rather than analytical selection. Overall, the task is addressed only partially, which aligns well with a Band 5 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text suffers from a lack of paragraphing, appearing as a single dense block of text, which severely hinders the logical flow and visual organisation of the response. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, relying on repetitive conjunctions like 'and' and conversational transitions such as 'now we have to discus s about' and 'now there is sector agriculture sector'. There is no clear overall progression, and referencing between data points is weak and confusing. This level of organisational control corresponds to Band 4.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying on terms like 'sector', 'jobs', 'millions', 'rises', and 'decrease'. There are frequent errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'it gradually rises at 5' and 'it became decrese from 5 million'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'discus s' and 'increses'. While the terms are minimally adequate to identify the topic, the limited range and noticeable errors place this squarely in the Band 4 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting almost entirely of simple sentences strung together with coordinating conjunctions. Complex structures are virtually absent. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('healthcare sector job is', 'manufacturing sector was decreased') and incorrect prepositional use ('rises at 5'). Punctuation is also faulty, with run-on sentences and missing capitalization or spacing ('in 1960it qas'). These persistent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader, matching Band 4 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.