Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts the employement in four different sectors of the economy in the US; Manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare for the 60 years of periods. Jobs were measured in milliions.

Overall, healthcare and retail were increased significantly in between 1960 and 2020, while manufacturing rose dramatically but after few years it was fell sharply. On the one hand agriculture sector slumped drastically.

Retail sector rose sharply and hit to 15 million jobs in the year 2000 after that, it climbed steadily and reached to 16 million jobs. While the other sector healthcare was at its low in the year 1960 at 2 million then it surged to 5 million after 20 years after that it soared and reached 16 million.

Manfacturing shoot up after the year 1960 and climbed to 20 million then dropped rapidly at 12 million employer in the year 2020. On the other hand agriculture was fell after the year 1960 at 3 million then reamain stable for the next 20 years after that it dropped slightly to1 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The student successfully identifies and reports the main features and trends of the four economic sectors over the 60-year period, covering all parts of the prompt. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, outlining the general upward trends in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture and the fluctuating pattern of manufacturing. Key data points are cited, such as retail reaching 15 million in 2000 and healthcare rising from 2 million. However, there are some minor inaccuracies or vague expressions when reporting specific data points, such as stating manufacturing dropped 'at 12 million employer' instead of millions of jobs, and minor discrepancies with the exact graph values (e.g., agriculture in 1960 starting around 6 million rather than 3 million as implied). Overall, the response fulfils the requirements of Task 1 adequately, earning a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is structured into four paragraphs, including a brief introduction, an overall summary, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. There is a clear overall progression of ideas, and the essay is easy to follow. However, cohesive devices are sometimes faulty, mechanical, or awkwardly linked (e.g., 'after that, it climbed steadily' and 'after 20 years after that it soared'). Punctuation between clauses is occasionally weak, leading to run-on structures or comma splices, such as 'Retail sector rose sharply and hit to 15 million jobs in the year 2000 after that, it climbed steadily'. Paragraphing is present and logically separates the sectors, but transitions could be smoother and more varied. This performance aligns well with the Band 6 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'fluctuate', 'surge', 'soared', 'slumped', and 'remain stable'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text. Examples include 'employement' (spelling error), 'milliions' (spelling error), 'hit to 15 million' (unnecessary preposition), 'at 12 million employer' (wrong word choice, should be 'jobs' or 'employees'), and 'Manfacturing shoot up' (tense and spelling errors). While the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main trends, these recurring inaccuracies in word formation and choice prevent the response from achieving a higher band score. Therefore, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing time clauses and conjunctions such as 'while' and 'after'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb tense and agreement, such as 'were increased significantly' (passive/active confusion), 'manufacturing rose dramatically but after few years it was fell sharply' (incorrect passive/active mix), and 'agriculture was fell' (incorrect passive structure). Punctuation and run-on sentences also detract from the quality, as seen in clauses linked improperly with commas. While communication is rarely impeded and the overall meaning remains clear, the high frequency of grammatical slips places this response firmly at Band 5.5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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