Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2000.
Overall, there are four sectors of employment such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. It can be seen that jobs in retail and heathcare has the rising graphs as compared to other two sectors.
Firtly, Heathcare's graph is escalating year by year along with the jobs in millions. Starting with the 1960 year with estimated 0-5 million jobs esclated till 2020 with approximately 15 million employment. Taking a view at retail sector,it is booming starting with 5 million jobs in 1960 to the highest number of employment of 15 million jobs in 2020.Touching the sky along with healthcare sector.
Secondly, Manufacturing industry which was at its peak in1980 with almost 20 million jobs in 1980 yet started decresing in the later years whereas Agriculture industry also gain popularity in 1960 with employment number of between 5-10 million although the graph remain steady in the later years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the graph, outlining general trends and specific figures for the four economic sectors. However, there are several inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the introduction states the graph ends in 2000 rather than 2020. Furthermore, the description of Agriculture claims the industry 'gain popularity in 1960', whereas it actually started higher and declined, and the text misinterprets the endpoints and trends for several sectors. The overview is partially present, but overall development is limited and marred by factual errors regarding the visual data. This places the response in Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, beginning with an introduction followed by an overview and body paragraphs. However, the progression is disrupted by mechanical and inappropriate cohesive markers, such as starting body paragraphs with 'Firtly' and 'Secondly', as well as sentence fragments like 'Touching the sky along with healthcare sector.' Referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are overused or misused, resulting in a somewhat disjointed flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion requires improvement. This performance aligns with Band 5 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, incorporating sector-specific terms such as 'Manufacturing', 'Retail', 'Agriculture', and 'Healthcare'. The student attempts less common vocabulary ('esclated', 'booming', 'popularity'), but there are notable spelling errors ('us' instead of US, 'heathcare', 'Firtly', 'esclated', 'decresing') and inappropriate word choices or collocations. While meaning is generally conveyed despite the errors, the lexical control is limited, corresponding to a solid Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but attempts at complex structures frequently contain errors. Examples include agreement and tense issues, such as 'jobs in retail and heathcare has the rising graphs', and fragments like 'Taking a view at retail sector,it is booming'. Punctuation and grammatical accuracy are inconsistent, with frequent errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The structural range is restricted, fitting the Band 5 criteria well.
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