Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This graph illustrates about diffrent changes in number of jobs in economy sector of US
overall; Number of jobs in the sector of retail and healthcare increases within four decades and number of jobs in sector of manufacturing and agriculture reduces
In the start of 1960 sector of manufacturing demanding huge and starts with 15 million further it demands more labour and jumps toward 20 million but after 2 decades it faces reduction and ends up with 13 million in 2020 on other hand number of jobs in sector of agriculture starts with 6 million jobs in 1960 and start decreases in 3 decades and ends up with huge reduction towards 2 million in 2020
In the sector of healthcare number of jobs starts with lesser amount of labour about 2 million jobs in 1960 and start moving toward 15 million as its demand increases its ends up with 16 million jobs in 2020 while number of jobs in sector of retail also increases from 6 million in 1960 towards 16 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover all parts of the prompt by describing the overall trends and giving specific data points for the four economic sectors. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reading the data from the graph. For instance, retail is reported to start at 6 million in 1960 and reach 16 million in 2020, which is accurate, but healthcare is described as starting at 2 million in 1960 and ending at 16 million in 2020, whereas manufacturing and agriculture data are somewhat garbled or imprecisely framed. Additionally, the overview is extremely basic and lacks polish. Consequently, the response meets the criteria for Band 5, as the task is addressed only partially with some unclear or imprecise reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text suffers from poor structural organization and a severe lack of punctuation. The response is essentially written as a run-on block of sentences with almost no periods or commas to separate clauses (e.g., 'In the start of 1960 sector of manufacturing demanding huge...'). Cohesive devices are minimal and mechanical, relying on repetitive transitions like 'starts with' and 'ends up with'. Paragraphing is virtually absent, as the text is clumped into a single body paragraph following a fragmented opening. While there is a basic chronological progression, the lack of punctuation and cohesive control makes the text difficult to follow, aligning closely with Band 4 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive. The student relies heavily on simple verbs and nouns such as 'sector', 'jobs', 'starts', 'decreases', and 'ends up with'. There are noticeable word-formation and word-choice errors, such as 'diffrent' (different), 'economy sector' (economic sectors), and 'demanding huge' instead of 'demanding a large labor force' or 'high employment'. Less common lexical items are attempted but used inaccurately. Because the vocabulary is limited and contains errors that cause some difficulty for the reader, this performance corresponds to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text lacks basic punctuation, resulting in run-on sentences and a complete absence of periods in the main body. There are frequent errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'sector of retail and healthcare increases' (plural subject with singular verb), 'at the start of 1960 sector of manufacturing demanding huge', and 'start decreases' instead of 'started to decrease'. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always faulty. The high frequency of grammatical errors places this response firmly at Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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