Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the condition of job market of four different sectors from 1960 to 2020.

Overall the manufacturing sector remain dominant in placement offering for four decades and was overtaken by retail and and healthcare in last two decades. The job market of manufacturing and agriculture shows a decline, whereas retail and healthcase rose sharply.

Manufacturing started with 15 million jobs in 1960 and increased to 20 million in 1980. After that, a sudden decrease can be seen, and now it sits between 12 to 13 million. Agriculture sector has experienced decline from ther 1960 and remain stable between 1980 to 2000. In 2020, the placements of agriculture were halved.

Jobs in retail sector has risen up drastically with only 2 million per year in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, retail sector, which started from 6 million has also increased significantly and now standing at 16 million job a year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features of the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is provided, noting that manufacturing was initially dominant before being overtaken by retail and healthcare. Key comparisons and trends are made, such as manufacturing and agriculture declining while retail and healthcare rose sharply. However, there are a few inaccuracies in the data reporting in the body paragraphs; for example, the final sentence of the student's text appears to confuse the figures for retail and healthcare or repeat points confusedly ("retail sector, which started from 6 million has also increased significantly and now standing at 16 million job a year"). Despite these minor reporting confusions, the main trends are adequately captured. This earns a band score of 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement with an introductory paragraph, an overview, and body paragraphs dedicated to contrasting trends. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition "After that, a sudden decrease can be seen" is somewhat basic, and there are repetitive expressions and referencing errors in the final sentences. Pronoun referencing and logical progression occasionally falter, such as the sudden shift into confused statistics at the end of the text. Overall progression is visible, but cohesion needs more flexibility and precision. This corresponds to a band score of 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as "dominant," "placement," "decline," and "stable." There are, however, noticeable word choice and spelling errors throughout the text, such as "healthcase" instead of healthcare, "ther" instead of the, and awkward phrasing like "placement offering." Furthermore, the final paragraph contains contradictory or muddled statements regarding the retail and healthcare sectors. While less common vocabulary is attempted, the lexical control is inconsistent. These errors do not entirely impede communication but restrict the score to a 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as "The graph illustrates the condition..." and "Furthermore, retail sector, which started from..." There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, including subject-verb agreement issues ("the manufacturing sector remain dominant", "Agriculture sector has experienced decline", "Jobs in retail sector has risen up") and missing articles ("retail sector"). Punctuation and phrasing are occasionally inaccurate, but the errors rarely impede overall communication. The command of grammar fits the descriptor for band 6.0.

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