Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph shows that number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in us between 1960 to 2020 . their are four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.
Overall,1960 to 2020 manufacturing was highest jobs position in 1960. Manufacturing was highest in 1960 to 1980. It grew in 20 years in 1980 manufacturing was in top position rather than other the jobs grows in 20 million peoples were employed and 20 years later manufacturing was decreased and retail and healthcare overtook the manufacturing. agriculture are going down and decrease these period .
Manufacturing job growing period was 1960 to 1980 and decreased slowly in 2000 to 2020. Manufacturing increased over a 5 million to 1960 to1980. But after 1980 manufacturing jobs were declined over the 40 years period and in 2020 retail and healthcare overtook manufacturing.
On the other hand retail and healthcare seem good job oppurtunity and take a first place in US but agriculture was quite different other two jobs rose and grew but agriculture declined. In 2020 agriculture jobs there were only 1 million people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the prompt by reporting on the number of jobs across the four sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overall trend is attempted, and some main features are captured, such as manufacturing starting highest and retail/healthcare overtaking it by 2020. However, the response contains several inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that agriculture jobs dropped to 1 million in 2020, whereas the graph indicates approximately 2 million. Furthermore, the phrasing is frequently confusing and imprecise, making it difficult to fully grasp the reported trends without looking back at the chart. The overview lacks clarity and fails to clearly outline the overarching trajectory of all categories.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response is divided into paragraphs, but the paragraphing logic is weak, and sentences within paragraphs often lack logical connection. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in a disjointed reading experience. For example, expressions like 'On the other hand retail and healthcare seem good job oppurtunity' fail to link ideas smoothly. The progression of information is hindered by repetitive phrasing, particularly regarding manufacturing, and pronoun referencing is occasionally ambiguous (e.g., 'other two jobs rose and grew but agriculture declined').
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive ('highest', 'jobs', 'grows', 'decreased', 'manufacturing'). There are several lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'highest jobs position', 'job oppurtunity', and misspelling ('oppurtunity'). The range of vocabulary is limited and inadequate for a higher band, as the writer struggles to use precise terminology to describe graphical data, such as fluctuations, peaks, or dramatic declines.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring frequent basic errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and articles (e.g., 'that number of jobs', 'in us', 'their are four sectors', 'agriculture are going down'). Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are often ungrammatical or awkwardly phrased, such as 'In 2020 agriculture jobs there were only 1 million people.' Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing capitalisation and strange spacing around commas.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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