Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in foru sectors of the econmy in United States between 1960 and 2020. Overall only two sectors increased steadly from 1960 to 2020 healthcare and retail whereas agriculture declined continiously. Manufacturing sector increased grew from 1960 to 1980 then it decreased sharply from 1980 to 2020, this explains that manucaturing sectors created maximum job until 1980. Healthcare and retail sector continue to increase from 1960 and got some fluactuations in 2000 for retail sector then they continued to rise and reached the same level in 2020. For agriculture sector it declined continouslyfrom creating 3 million jobs to 1 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The student attempts to address the task by outlining the general trends of the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the response falls significantly short of the 150-word minimum requirement, containing only 110 words, which incurs a mandatory penalty on Task Achievement. While an overview is attempted, important details and specific data points are missed or inaccurately reported (e.g., claiming agriculture went down to 1 million jobs when the graph indicates around 2-3 million). The development of main features is limited and lacks sufficient support and data comparison. To improve, the writer must ensure all instructions regarding length are met and incorporate more specific figures from the chart to substantiate the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response lacks paragraphing entirely, presented as a single block of text, which restricts the score for coherence and cohesion. While there are some basic cohesive devices used to link ideas, such as 'whereas' and 'then', the overall organisation is weak and lacks a clear, logical structure. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas is hindered by abrupt transitions and run-on sentences. To achieve a higher band score, the student should divide the essay into well-defined paragraphs, typically an introduction with an overview followed by two body paragraphs, and make more effective use of cohesive markers to guide the reader smoothly through the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that detract from the overall quality. Examples of spelling errors include 'foru' instead of 'four', 'econmy' instead of 'economy', 'steadly' instead of 'steadily', 'continiously' instead of 'continuously', 'manucaturing' instead of 'manufacturing', and 'fluactuations' instead of 'fluctuations'. Despite these errors, the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic trends in the graph, such as 'increased', 'declined', and 'rise'. To improve lexical resource, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary related to data trends and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that frequently contain punctuation and structural errors. For instance, run-on sentences lack appropriate punctuation, as seen in 'Overall only two sectors increased steadly from 1960 to 1980 healthcare and retail whereas agriculture declined continiously.' There are also issues with verb tense consistency and missing articles, such as 'in United States' instead of 'in the United States'. While some simple structures are accurate, frequent errors in grammar and mechanics cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Incorporating a wider variety of complex structures with greater accuracy is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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