Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart demonstrate the quantity of employment across four different segments of the American economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare expended throughout the period while agriculture fall rapidly till 1980, till 2000 almost remain same and after that it decreased. Retail jobs rose throughout the years, meanwhile, manufacturing sector plunge in 1980 after a large rise.
Healthcare abruptly grew over the whole period with lowest initial period 3 million all over the sectors and attained highest employment opportunities, reaching 16 million in 2020. However, agriculture started from 6 million and decreased slightly between 1960 and 1980, almost remain constant till 2000 then again diminished .
In 1960, manufacturing was a largest sector for employment started from 15 million and diminished after 1980 and touched 13 million jobs. In contrast, Retail showed the opposite pattern, rise all over the time, started from 5 million and reached a peak of 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make relevant comparisons, successfully meeting the core requirements of Academic Task 1. The overview correctly identifies the major upward trend in healthcare and retail alongside the declines in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are several inaccurate data points and minor misinterpretations of the visual data. For example, the student writes that agriculture 'fall rapidly till 1980, till 2000 almost remain same', whereas the chart shows it dropping to 3 million in 1980 and plateauing at that level until 2000. Additionally, initial figures contain inaccuracies, such as stating healthcare started at '3 million' when it began at 2 million, and retail started at '5 million' instead of 6 million. Despite these minor data reading errors, the main features and overall trends are adequately reported, placing this response at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is arranged into four paragraphs, including a clear introduction and an overall summary paragraph, which helps structure the information logically. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'However', 'In contrast', and 'meanwhile'. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by clunky transitions and repetitive phrasing. For instance, the second paragraph awkwardly strings together multiple time clauses ('till 1980, till 2000 almost remain same and after that it decreased'). Referencing and paragraphing show a basic logical layout, but the overall mechanical feel of the cohesive devices and occasional disjointed sentence ordering keep this criterion at a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common lexical items related to data trends, such as 'expended' (intended as expanded), 'plunge', 'diminished', and 'peak'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'demonstrate' instead of 'demonstrates', 'quantity of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', and spelling/morphology issues like 'expended' instead of 'expanded', 'fall' instead of 'fell', and 'abruptly grew' instead of 'steadily grew'. Furthermore, grammatical inflections affect lexical accuracy ('a largest sector' instead of 'the largest sector'). These errors do not impede overall communication, supporting a Band 5.5 score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and verb tenses is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and past tense forms for past data. Examples include 'The line chart demonstrate' (demonstrates), 'healthcare expended' (expanded), 'agriculture fall' (fell), 'almost remain same' (remained almost the same), and 'started from 15 million and diminished' (missing subject or relative pronoun). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical slips occur in almost every sentence, which prevents the response from reaching Band 6.0. Communication is maintained despite the errors, fitting the Band 5.5 descriptor.
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