Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The information regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the ecnomy in the united states in these years is illustrated by line graph.
Overall, it is vivid that , maximum number of jobs get jobs in four different sectors was maximum in manufacturing in middle time period while, least number of jobs was in healthcare in later time period.
To commence with, number of four jobs in united states was 15 in 1960 in manufacturing while, this number was 20 in 1980 whilist, massive decrease in the number of jobs was seen in 2020 which was approximately 13 in addition, the number of jobs in retail was 10 in retail whereas, it was 15 in 2000 however, it increased little and become 16 in 2020.
moving further, the number of jobs in agriculture was 5 in 1980 allthough it was increased significantly and become 10 in 2000 while it was seen nearly 15 in 2020 thereafter, the number of jobs in healthcare was approximately 5 in 1960 whilist, it was decrease in upcoming years and become 3 in 1980 however, number of jobs was approximately 2 in 2020 respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover all parts of the task by reporting information about the four sectors across the specified years, but it suffers from severe data inaccuracies and confusion regarding the figures in the chart. For example, the student claims that agriculture peaked at 15 in 2020 and healthcare was 3 in 1980, which contradicts the provided data. The overview is poorly formulated ('maximum number of jobs get jobs in four different sectors was maximum in manufacturing') and fails to clearly outline the main overall trends. Consequently, the task achievement is limited due to misread data points and lack of clear comparative features.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is organized into paragraphs with some introductory and transitional markers like 'To commence with' and 'moving further', but the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by confusing phrasing and run-on sentences. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately (such as repetitive use of 'while', 'whilist', and 'however' clause clusters). Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult to follow the relationships between data series. Referencing is also unclear at times.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with noticeable spelling errors such as 'ecnomy' and 'united states' (uncapitalized). There are also collocation and word choice errors, such as 'maximum number of jobs get jobs' and 'increased little and become'. The range of vocabulary is limited to simple terms like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'number', with unsuccessful attempts at more complex lexical items. These lexical limitations and errors frequently strain the reader's understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text relies heavily on poorly constructed, run-on complex sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions and contrast markers incorrectly ('while', 'whilist', 'allthough', 'however'). There are frequent punctuation errors, missing commas or periods, and run-on structures. Verb tense and form errors also appear, such as 'was decrease' instead of 'decreased'. While there are some basic structures that are clear, the high frequency of grammatical errors impairs readability.
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