Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line chart demonstrates the quantity of employment across four different segments of the American economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare expanded throughout the period while agriculture fell rapidly till 1980, till 2000 almost remained same and after that it decreased. Retail jobs rose throughout the years, meanwhile, the manufacturing sector plunge in 1980 after a large rise.
Healthcare abruptly grew over the whole period with the lowest initial period of 3 million across the sectors and attained highest employment opportunities, reaching 16 million in 2020. However, agriculture started from 6 million and decreased slightly between 1960 and 1980, almost remained constant till 2000, and then again diminished.
In 1960, manufacturing was the largest sector for employment that started from 15 million and diminished after 1980 and touched 13 million jobs. In contrast, retail showed the opposite pattern, rising all the time, started from 5 million and reached a peak of 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The student successfully covers all four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) and highlights the key trends and overarching patterns from 1960 to 2020. The overview effectively captures the main developments, such as the continuous rise in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. Key features are reported, including the peak of manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and the final figures for 2020. However, some minor details contain inaccuracies when compared to the visual data; for example, the student states healthcare started at 3 million when the chart shows it near 2 million, and retail started at 5 million instead of 6 million. Nevertheless, the response clearly addresses all parts of the task with relevant data points.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is logically organized with a clear overall progression. It begins with a suitable introduction and overview paragraph, followed by body paragraphs that break down the trends effectively. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'However', and 'In contrast'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different economic sectors. However, some transitional links are slightly awkward or mechanically constructed, such as 'till 1980, till 2000 almost remained same and after that it decreased', which disrupts the flow of information slightly. Overall, the structure remains coherent and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, attempting less common items such as 'segment', 'diminished', and 'employment opportunities'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'quantity of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', 'abruptly grew' instead of 'steadily grew' (given the upward trajectory), and 'plunge' used as a verb form where 'plunged' or 'plunging' is required. Spelling is generally accurate, but lexical precision is occasionally compromised.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and contrastive structures like 'In contrast, retail showed the opposite pattern...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as missing articles ('started from 5 million'), incorrect verb tenses or forms ('the manufacturing sector plunge in 1980'), and run-on structures with temporal clauses ('till 1980, till 2000 almost remained same and after that it decreased'). While these errors are noticeable and require the reader to re-read occasionally, they do not completely impede communication.
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