Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depicts the information about the jobs available in four sectors from 1960 to 2020. The number of jobs is in millions and the brief illustration of number of jobs available in shown in the graph.

Overall, much things have changed since 1960 to 2020 within the pan of 60 years. The Retail and Healthcare job markets have exploded since the start but there is a significant decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. The manufacturing market still managed to rise till 1980 but eventually declined over time. This fluctuation in jobs can be caused by rigorously changing markets and developing market needs.

The number of manufacturing jobs peaked in 1980 probably because of industrial revolution and sudden rise of labour requirement, further it decline probably because of automation and modernisation. The agriculture jobs are also consistantly declining because of the same reason, traditional farming required huge man power but now modern machines can do same task in fraction of cost and ultimately saving lot of time. The retail and healthcare markets have consistantly increased the number of jobs as there is surge in healthcare and retail market demands. The Healthcare sector has acheived lots of technological advancements and has created lots of jobs to meet its requirements.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features of the four sectors over the 60-year period. You provided a clear overview in the second paragraph noting the upward trends in retail and healthcare alongside the downward trends in manufacturing and agriculture. You also incorporated specific data points, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 at 20 million jobs. However, there is a tendency to drift into outside knowledge and speculation in the body paragraphs (e.g., attributing manufacturing trends to the industrial revolution or automation), which goes beyond reporting the visual data provided. To achieve a higher band, focus strictly on summarising the given data rather than explaining the historical or economic causes behind the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is organised into clear paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, moving to an overall summary, and finishing with the body details. Ideas are generally logically sequenced, and cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'The manufacturing market still managed to', and 'further it decline' help guide the reader through the text. However, paragraphing could be improved by separating the overall statement into its own distinct introductory paragraph rather than grouping it with background context. Additionally, some cohesive links are slightly repetitive or mechanical, and referencing occasionally lacks precision, such as 'same reason' referring back to complex historical explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some successful attempts at less common and topic-specific items such as 'fluctuation', 'technological advancements', and 'modernisation'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations that detract from the overall quality, such as 'much things have changed', 'within the pan of 60 years' (instead of span), 'did same task' (missing article), and 'consistantly' (spelling error). While communication is not impeded, these frequent minor errors in word choice and spelling prevent the response from reaching a higher lexical band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and subordinate clauses (e.g., 'The number of manufacturing jobs peaked in 1980 probably because of industrial revolution and sudden rise of labour requirement...'). There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text. Noticeable issues include run-on sentences and comma splices (e.g., '...sudden rise of labour requirement, further it decline...'), missing articles ('did same task'), and tense inconsistencies or verb form errors ('it decline' instead of declined). Although these errors do not prevent your meaning from being understood, they occur frequently enough to restrict the score to a Band 6.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.