Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employees in four different sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healtcare increased, while the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture decreased over the period.
At the begning, the number of jobs in retail increased steadily over the six decades about six million jobs in 1960 from approximately sixteen million in 2020. Similarly, the number of jobs in healtcare increased dramatically over two decades from about two million in 1960 and sixteen million in 2020.
In contrast, the number of jobs in manufacturing increased steadily over two decades from fifteen million in 1960 and twenty million in 1980, it decreased dramatically over four decades from twenty million in 1980 and approximately thirteen million in 2020, while the number of jobs for agriculture decreased dramatically from about six million in 1960 and three million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student successfully covers all four sectors shown in the graph and makes relevant comparisons across the sixty-year period. A clear overview is provided, highlighting the main overall trends: growth in retail and healthcare, and decline in manufacturing and agriculture. Key data points are generally accurate, such as retail and healthcare both reaching approximately sixteen million in 2020. However, there are minor numerical expression errors, such as stating that retail increased 'about six million jobs in 1960 from approximately sixteen million in 2020', which reverses the chronological order of the numbers. Despite these minor phrasing issues, the key features are well reported, satisfying the requirements for Band 6.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into a logical structure with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'At the begning', 'Similarly', and 'In contrast' are used to guide the reader through the data. However, paragraphing is somewhat condensed, and some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive in their phrasing. Referencing is mostly clear, though the dense grouping of multiple data points in the final paragraph slightly disrupts the flow and logical progression of ideas. Overall coherence is maintained adequately, earning a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range suitable for describing statistical trends, employing terms such as 'illustrates', 'increased steadily', 'decreased dramatically', and 'sectors of the economy'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('healtcare' instead of healthcare, 'begning' instead of beginning) and some awkward prepositional or structural collocations when reporting numbers (e.g., 'about six million jobs in 1960 from approximately sixteen million in 2020'). While less common vocabulary is attempted, these recurring mechanical errors and minor inaccuracies in word choice place the response firmly in the Band 6.0 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using subordinate clauses and comparative linking words like 'while'. There are several grammatical inaccuracies, particularly regarding prepositions and time markers in data description (e.g., 'from about two million in 1960 and sixteen million in 2020' instead of 'to sixteen million'). Additionally, a comma splice occurs in the final paragraph: '...twenty million in 1980, it decreased dramatically...'. Despite these errors, communication is rarely impeded, and the control over basic sentence patterns supports a Band 6.0.
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