Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The Graph illustrates information about jobs in America between 1960 till 2020.About various factor of economy of United States.

Overall,On horizantal axis of diagram present year's and vertical jobs.the diagrame prasent four factor.Each is presented with different visual's.Such as (circle,triangle,sqaure.diamond).Each visual represent different factor.Circle present to Manufacturing.Retail presented with triangle.sqauare is assosiated with Agriculture and Diamond to Healthcare.

Firstly,There is flactuation in manufacturing.There is boom to 20 milliom from 1960 to 1980 ,After there is graduall decline in manufacturer factor.from 1980 to 2020.And there is constant decline in Agriculture factor it decreasing constantly from 1960 to 2020.these two factor's job decreases.agriculture is constant .

Secondly.there is no flucation in jobs opportunity in healthcare ,retail.both are increasing constantly there is large number of jobs opportunity in United States Of America.there is incline in both factors from 1960 till 2020.Most Job's opportunity incerases in retail factor but now both retail and Architeture have same jobs opportunity in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to cover the main features of the graph, identifying general trends such as the fluctuation in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the response fails to provide a clear overview and misinterprets or omits key data points. For instance, the description of agricultural jobs is contradictory, stating it is 'decreasing constantly' while also confusingly claiming 'agriculture is constant'. Furthermore, the student spends unnecessary text describing the visual markers on the graph rather than reporting the actual data. Because the information is underdeveloped and contains inaccuracies regarding the trends, this response corresponds to a Band 4.5 or 5.0, fitting best within the Band 5 descriptor for partially addressing the task with limited and under-developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response shows some organization with basic paragraph breaks, but there is no clear overall progression or logical structuring of ideas. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, with sentences frequently disjointed (e.g., starting new sentences with 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' while mixing disparate ideas together). Reference words and punctuation are poorly handled, making the text difficult to follow at times. The formatting and mechanical referencing of symbols (such as mentioning circles and triangles from the prompt's visual key) disrupt the flow and fail to maintain a cohesive academic register. This level of organization reflects the characteristics of Band 4.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive. The student relies on simple terms like 'jobs', 'factor', 'increase', and 'decline'. There are numerous word choice and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'flactuation' instead of fluctuation, 'horizantal' instead of horizontal, and 'incerases' instead of increases. The attempt to use less common vocabulary fails due to inaccuracies in collocation and form (e.g., 'manufacturer factor' instead of manufacturing sector). These noticeable lexical errors and the limited range of vocabulary cause significant difficulty for the reader, aligning with Band 4 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and frequently faulty sentence structures. There is a total lack of control over basic punctuation and capitalization, with sentences starting with lowercase letters or split incorrectly with commas and periods. Frequent errors include subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'year's and vertical jobs'), incorrect tense usage, and awkward phrasing that obscures the intended meaning. Complex sentences are rarely attempted and, when present, are grammatically inaccurate. These persistent, frequent errors cause severe difficulty for the reader, placing the response firmly at Band 4.

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