Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about different number of jobs in four economical sectors in the US, over the time periods 1960 to 2020.The four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and lastly healthcare, meanwhile jobs are given in millions.
In 1950, the starting point of manufacturing in industries were considerably higher than other sectors, at 15 million. While the initial point of sales retailing and Agriculture were the same, 6 million approximately. Consequently, the number of jobs in hospitals and healthcare was around 3 million.
The industrial manufacturing job rate rose in year 1980 but fall down sharply towards 16 million in 2000. The number of jobs in retail sector rose considerably in 2000, around 15 million. Lastly, the healthcare also escalated sharply towards 12 millions in year 2000 and agriculture segment went downwards over the year 2000.
The ending point of healthcare and selling products job had same growth at around 16 million in contrast the number of employment in agriculture sector
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all four economic sectors over the period from 1960 to 2020, providing an overview and specific data points. However, there are notable inaccuracies in the data reported. For instance, the student states that in '1950' (likely a typo for 1960) manufacturing was at 15 million, which is correct, but later claims that manufacturing fell down to 16 million in 2000 (whereas the graph shows it rose to 20 in 1980 and then fell to 17 in 2000). Furthermore, the response is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence ('...in contrast the number of employment in agriculture sector'). Because of these inaccuracies and the incomplete ending, the task is only partially addressed, aligning with Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response exhibits some basic organisation with an introduction and body paragraphs attempting to track the trends over time. However, overall progression is disrupted by abrupt shifts and the incomplete final sentence. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inaccurately, such as 'consequently' used inappropriately to link initial values in paragraph two. Paragraphing is also erratic, with the essay breaking off suddenly without a proper conclusion. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas, which corresponds to Band 5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'escalated sharply', 'considerably higher', and 'went downwards'. However, there are frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations, such as 'selling products job', 'industrial manufacturing job rate', and referencing the year '1950' instead of '1960'. There are also minor lexical slips like 'economical' instead of 'economic'. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey basic concepts, the noticeable errors and awkward phrasing place this at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, such as 'different number of jobs in four economical sectors' (plural/singular agreement issues), 'the starting point of manufacturing in industries were' (subject-verb agreement), and 'fall down sharply' (tense consistency issues). The abrupt cutoff at the end of the text also demonstrates a lack of complete syntactic control. These frequent errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.