Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the different jobs in four different areas of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector was at 15 million in 1960, as the time passes it shows a remarkable increase upto 20 millions. between 1980 to 2020 this job area goes down in trend and reach at 13 million at the end of 2020.
secondly, the retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors was at low cost than first one. In 1960 these three were at the botton ranges from 3 to 7 million but the jobs in retails goes drastically upward and hit nearly 16 millions. the healthcare work also rises and reach almost 16 millions. The only department which goes down was agriculture and it hits only 3 millions cost of jobs in 2020.
overall, manufacturing category was at top while remaining three categories was at low cost in early 1960. manufacturing and agriculture shows overall decrease in cost from start to end, while the retail and health care prices follows upward trend.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make comparisons over the period from 1960 to 2020. An overview is provided in the final paragraph, noting general trends such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the student misinterprets the data scale by referring to employment figures as 'cost' (e.g., 'at low cost' and 'hits only 3 millions cost of jobs'), which indicates a misreading of the graph axes. Additionally, some data points are imprecise or awkwardly described (e.g., 'botton ranges from 3 to 7 million'). While the main features are touched upon, the lack of precision and confusion regarding the units prevent a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs detailing the sectors, and an overall summary. Basic sequencing devices such as 'Firstly', 'secondly', and 'overall' are used to structure the text. However, paragraphing and referencing are somewhat mechanical and the progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed. The transition between sentences within the body paragraphs lacks smooth cohesive ties, and the overall logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and minor structural confusion. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires better control.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for a basic summary, incorporating terms like 'sector', 'increase', 'trend', and 'upward'. However, there are significant lexical inaccuracies, most notably the recurring misuse of the word 'cost' instead of 'jobs' or 'millions' (e.g., 'at low cost' and 'cost of jobs'). Other minor errors include spelling issues like 'upto', 'botton', and 'health care'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success, and word choices frequently impede precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'as the time passes it shows a remarkable increase'. However, control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are numerous errors including missing capitalizations at the beginning of sentences ('secondly', 'overall'), comma splices, tense inconsistencies, and subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'the retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors was at low cost', 'manufacturing category was at top while remaining three categories was'). Complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
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