Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates data on the number of jobs in sectors including Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in the USA from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing and agriculture departments recorded a downward trend, while retail and healthcare saw a marked increase. Retail and heathcare showed the most significant growth.
Looking at the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture areas, Maunfacturing started off at 15 million jobs initially, rose substantially to 20 million in the following year before decreasing to approximately 13 million by the end. In contrast, agriculture sector stood at just over 5 million in 1960, dipped to just 3 million in 1980 before standing at the same point by 2020.
In terms of Retail and Healthcare, both showed an upward trend. The number of emloyees was just above 5 million, increased to a large extent at 15 million in 2000, after which it recorded a subtle shift to almost 16 million in 2020. Compared with, the figure of healthcare began with only 2 million, and climbed to just over 15, meeting the figure of Retail by the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The student covers all parts of the task well, providing an overview and selecting key features and comparisons. The overview accurately captures the main trends, noting that manufacturing and agriculture declined while retail and healthcare grew significantly. Specific data points are generally reported well, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million, rising to 20 million, and ending at 13 million. However, there are minor inaccuracies in reading the data: the student states manufacturing rose 'in the following year' (it was over a 20-year span to 1980) and misreads the retail/healthcare starting points slightly. Despite these small errors, the response successfully addresses the core prompt requirements, deserving a solid Band 7.0 for task fulfillment.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The response is clearly structured into four paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the four sectors logically. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the data, such as 'Overall', 'Looking at', 'In contrast', and 'In terms of'. Logical organization and progression are clear throughout the essay, and paragraphing is managed appropriately. Although referencing is occasionally a bit vague in the final paragraph ('Compared with, the figure of healthcare...'), the overall arrangement is coherent, earning a Band 7.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate to sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms like 'downward trend', 'marked increase', 'substantially', and 'subtle shift'. There are, however, a few spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'heathcare' instead of 'healthcare', 'Maunfacturing' for 'Manufacturing', and 'emloyees' for 'employees'. The phrase 'Compared with, the figure of healthcare' is also awkward and ungrammatical. Because these lexical errors and slips slightly detract from precision, the vocabulary use fits comfortably within the Band 6.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and comparative constructions ('while retail and healthcare saw a marked increase', 'which it recorded a subtle shift to almost 16 million'). There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as missing subject pronouns ('Compared with, the figure of healthcare began...') and prepositions, as well as a dangling modifier in the final sentence ('meeting the figure of Retail by the end'). However, these errors rarely impede communication, allowing the response to secure a Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.