Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph shows the number of jobs in four sector of the US economy manufacture, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing had the highest jobs at the start of the period but decreased slowly and reached after 1980 at the same time retail and healthcare had been increasing above 15 millions. Though manufacuring employed 15 millions people from their starting period but healthcare and retail started their employment around 5 millions. Agriculture had the lowest rate in the economy in that period.they started their jobs around 5 million but it dropped slowly. Manufacturing was the largest sector in economy as they reached their employment at 20 millions which is the the highest number among those four sector in that period. but the graph shows that retail and healthcare increased their jobs step by step.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to report the main features of the graph, correctly identifying manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare as the four economic sectors. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the text states that manufacturing 'reached after 1980 at the same time retail and healthcare had been increasing above 15 millions,' which is confusing and misrepresents the timeline (retail and healthcare reached 15-16 million around 2000 and 2020 respectively). Furthermore, the response is under the 150-word minimum, containing only 138 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. The overview is weak and lacks precision.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response suffers from poor paragraphing, as nearly the entire body of text is crammed into a single run-on paragraph following the introductory sentence. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, and occasionally repetitive or misused ('Though manufacuring employed... but healthcare...'). Logical progression is hindered by choppy sentences and unclear referencing, such as 'they started their jobs around 5 million but it dropped slowly,' where the pronoun reference 'they' for agriculture is awkward. While there is an overall attempt to sequence ideas from start to finish, the lack of paragraph breaks and faulty cohesion limit the coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on terms provided in the prompt such as 'jobs,' 'sector,' 'economy,' and 'millions.' There are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'four sector' (missing plural 's'), 'manufacture' instead of manufacturing, and 'manufacuring.' The writer attempts some less common phrasing like 'highest rate in the economy,' but word choices lack precision. Communication is maintained, but the limited range places it firmly in band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent errors, including run-on sentences (e.g., 'Agriculture had the lowest rate in the economy in that period.they started their jobs around 5 million but it dropped slowly'), missing capitalization after periods, and tense inconsistencies (mixing past simple and past continuous inappropriately, as in 'had been increasing'). Punctuation is neglected in places, creating difficulties for the reader, though the core meaning can still be deciphered.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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