Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
This graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020. This is very informative graph covering all the basic details and showing all the trends. In this we can clearly see increase in job market of retail and health sector from 1960 to 2020. As we can see there were only 6 million jobs in retail sector and only 2.5 million in health sector. But this number graduaaly showed positive trend and it increased to 15 million in both health and retail sector in 2020.
While if we talk about manufacturing and agriculture sector was ggoing great in 1960 . Manufacturing showed a positive trend in 1980 after that it kept falling and there were only 13 millions jobs which are almost 2 million less than 1960.
And if we talk about agriculture sector is showed decline after 1960 . There were 6 million jobs in 1960 but in 2020 there were only 2 percent.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to report the main features of the graph, identifying the upward trends in retail and healthcare, and the general decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that retail and health increased to 15 million in 2020, whereas the visual data shows healthcare at 16 million and retail at 16 million. More critically, the final sentence claims that in agriculture there were only '2 percent' in 2020, confusing millions with percentages. Additionally, conversational meta-language ('As we can see', 'if we talk about') detracts from the academic tone. These data misreadings and structural shortcomings place this response at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is divided into four paragraphs, attempting an introduction and body paragraphs for the different sectors. However, the organization lacks logical progression and smooth transitions. The student relies heavily on conversational, repetitive phraseology ('And if we talk about', 'While if we talk about') rather than appropriate cohesive devices. Paragraphing is haphazard, resulting in a disjointed structure. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the dangling modifier in 'while if we talk about manufacturing and agriculture sector was ggoing great'. These limitations reflect Band 5.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms like 'jobs', 'sector', 'positive trend', and 'million'. There are noticeable spelling errors ('graduaaly', 'ggoing') and inappropriate word choices, such as using 'percent' instead of 'million' when discussing agriculture. While there is a minimal attempt to use topic-related vocabulary, the range is limited and inadequate for a higher band. Frequent lexical errors and lack of precision restrict the score to Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many complex sentences contain grammatical errors or are awkwardly phrased, such as 'While if we talk about manufacturing and agriculture sector was ggoing great in 1960'. Punctuation is inconsistent, and there are frequent structural flaws, including missing articles ('in US') and subject-verb agreement issues. Grammatical errors frequently occur and occasionally cause strain for the reader, though they do not completely obscure the meaning, aligning with Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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