Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors included in the grapgical representation are manufactring, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

Each sector has its own different representation of the number of jobs with increase in the years. On one hand, manufacturing and agriculture have totally opposite arcs represented. On the other hand retail and healthcare have some similarities in the arcs represented.

There has been an increase in the number of jobs for a solid 20 years, ie, from 1960 to 1980, followed by a steep decline eversince in the field of manufacturing. In contrast, there was a decline in the number of jobs by the year 1980 and has shown no further incline or increase in the number of jobs in the agriculture sector. It has been rather steady in terms of number of jobs up untill 2020.

However, for both the retail and healthcare sector the graph shows a similar arc. It starts out low but shows gradual increase in the number of jobs from 1960 to 2020.But there's one point of difference for these to sectores too. In retail, the number of jobs remain rather the same with no significant increase, whereas in the healthcare sector, we can still see a significant increase in the number of jobs even after the 2000's. This comes to show that the demand within and for the healthcare sector has onlybeen increasing with the changing times, wihich greatly corelates to the needs of it with the evolutions in the lifestyle in today's world.

In conclusion, this graph can be corelated with the demands of the changing world and how it affects the different sectors and the employment rates across the globe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The candidate makes a reasonable attempt to summarise the main features of the graph, identifying manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare sectors. However, there are significant omissions and inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the statement that agriculture 'has shown no further incline or increase' is broadly acceptable as it declines and stays low, but the description of retail and healthcare misses specific data points (e.g. retail starting at 6 million in 1960 and reaching 16 million in 2020). Furthermore, the final paragraph introduces external speculation ('greatly correlates to the needs of it with the evolutions in the lifestyle in today's world') rather than strictly reporting the data provided. Task Achievement falls into Band 5 due to limited selection and under-developed reporting of key trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is organised into multiple paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes hindered by imprecise referencing and mechanical cohesive devices ('On one hand', 'On the other hand'). While paragraphing is attempted, the division is occasionally disjointed, such as separating the analysis of retail and healthcare across multiple short paragraphs with repetitive phrasing ('for both the retail and healthcare sector the graph shows a similar arc'). Cohesive devices are at times overused or used inaccurately, as seen in awkward transitions like 'This comes to show that...'. Overall organisation demonstrates some structural awareness, but progression lacks complete clarity, placing it at Band 5.5, rounded to Band 6.0 based on coherent overall arrangement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-specific words such as 'sectors', 'economy', 'employment rates', and sector names. However, there are notable spelling errors throughout the text, including 'grapgical', 'manufactring', 'uptill', 'sectores', 'wihich', and 'corelates'. Word choice is occasionally repetitive ('number of jobs' is repeated excessively), and collocation is sometimes awkward ('opposite arcs represented'). While less common vocabulary is attempted, the recurrent spelling and lexical slips restrict the score to Band 5.5, which aligns best with Band 5 descriptors where noticeable errors cause some difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some structural variety ('There has been an increase...', 'In contrast, there was a decline...'). However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors, including missing articles ('in healthcare sector'), punctuation issues ('1980, ie, from'), and tense inconsistencies ('remain rather the same' instead of 'remained'). Some complex structures are clumsy or faulty, and there are run-on sentences ('It starts out low but shows gradual increase...'). Because these errors persist across the text and occasionally require the reader to re-read, the grammar falls into the Band 5 category.

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