Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
this line chart tells us about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in america between 1960 and 2020.
overall the manufacturing sector has a visible increase and then a dramatic fall in its percentage.while the retail serviced and healthcare had a good increase in their jobs over the years.whereas agriculture had a clear decline along the years.
in 1980 manufacturing industry had visible increase in its numbers of job availability varying from 15 Million in 1960 to 20 Million in 1980, which later declined dramatically to lower than 15 Million in the year 2020.As for the retail services they had a significant raise in their job availability as it went from 5 Million in the year 1960 to the it peaking at slightly higher than 15 Million achieving great opportunities.
A decline in agriculture sector was spotted which had its highest demands in the year 1960 with slightly above 5 Million jobs which later decreased gradually till near 0 Million in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all parts of the prompt by identifying the four economic sectors and their general trends between 1960 and 2020. However, there are notable inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the student states that the manufacturing sector fell in its 'percentage' (whereas the chart measures millions of jobs) and claims it fell to 'lower than 15 Million' in 2020, whereas the correct figure is around 13 million. Furthermore, the response misses the 2000 data point for several categories and omits the retail service peak details accurately. While an overview is attempted at the beginning, the lack of precision in data reporting keeps this response at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is divided into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and a body paragraph, showing a basic structural attempt. However, the paragraphing is underdeveloped, and the third paragraph crams multiple sectors together in a slightly chaotic manner. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'which later', 'As for'). There is no clear progression within the body of the text, and referencing is occasionally confusing, such as abrupt shifts between manufacturing, retail, and agriculture. This level of organisation aligns with a Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts some less common vocabulary items such as 'dramatically', 'significant raise', and 'job availability'. However, there are several lexical inaccuracies and inappropriate collocations, such as 'retail serviced' instead of 'retail sector', and 'raise' instead of 'rise'. The misuse of 'percentage' instead of 'number of jobs' also impacts lexical precision. Spelling and word formation are generally adequate to allow basic comprehension, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'As for the retail services they had a significant raise...'. However, punctuation is largely neglected, with missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and after periods, along with run-on sentences lacking proper punctuation (e.g., 'sector.while the retail...'). Grammatical errors, such as missing articles and awkward prepositions ('in agriculture sector'), occur frequently. Despite these issues, the core message remains understandable, supporting a Band 5.0 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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