Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided line chart illustartes the data regarding the number of empolyement in 4 different sectors of the economy From 1860 to 2020 in a perticular nation US .
Overall , a glance at the data shows , jobs in healthcare were rising over the period of time .However , in agriculture , in shown continues declined from the beginging to end of the period .
By analying the data , it can be seen that in healthcare , there was around 2.5 million job in 1960 . After that , it rose to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2002 and recherd to 15.1 milion jobs at 2020 . Moving to agriculture , where it was above 5 million in former year . followed that , it declined to half of that in 1980 , and remains same over 20 years , after it it dipped to 2 million jobs in 2020 .
Furthermore , in terms of manufacturing , it has 15 million jobs in 1960 , than showe sharp rose to 20 million in next following year . However after that it indicated continues declined , and rechared to 14 million in 2020 . In addition , there was about 5 million jobs in retails at former year . it went to 10 milion in 1980 , and climped to 15 million in 2000 . Finally recharedd to 15.1 milion at the end .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all four sectors across the specified time frame, but there are several factual inaccuracies and misreadings of the data compared to the visual reference. For instance, the dates are mistakenly given as starting from 1860 instead of 1960, and specific data points contain errors, such as stating healthcare reached 15 million in 2002 and 15.1 million in 2020, whereas the graph shows 2020 at around 16 million. However, an overview is provided, and the main trends for healthcare and agriculture are identified. Because of the inaccuracies in reporting specific data points and minor year slips, the response meets the criteria for Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, featuring an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the categories. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by mechanical and repetitive cohesive devices, such as 'Moving to agriculture', 'Furthermore', and 'Finally recharedd'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical flow between sentences is disrupted by awkward transitions and structural fragmentation. Paragraphing is present, but overall cohesion is faulty at times. This performance aligns with a Band 5.5 score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate basic vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'rose', 'declined', and 'dip'. However, there are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, including 'illustartes', 'empolyement', 'perticular', 'continues', 'beginging', 'analying', 'recherd', 'milion', 'climped', and 'recharedd'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and these frequent lexical and spelling mistakes occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, placing the response firmly at Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'there was around 2.5 million job' (lack of agreement), 'where it was above 5 million in former year', and tense inconsistencies like 'it has 15 million jobs in 1960, than showe sharp rose'. Punctuation is also erratic with spaces placed incorrectly before commas. These persistent errors frequently strain the reader and reflect a Band 5.0 level.
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