Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The presented line graph illustrates the comparison of number of jobs in foure sectors (Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in US over the duration of 60 years from 1960 to 2020. Overall, it is generally observerd that Retail and healthcare sector, offer the most significant jobs opportunities for US citizen as compared to agriculture with least jobs vacancy. While, manufacturing is at second position throughout the given period between 1960 to 2020. The unit is measured as jobs in millions.
According to the line grapgh, it is crystal obvious, In 1980 manufacturing sector dominate among foure as the most popular sector, which offer almost 15 millions jobs. Whereas, reatail and agriculture start from same point which was around 6 million. However, healthcare was the only sector which offer least number of jobs 3 million.
It is apparently seen, that in 1980 three sectors manufacturing, retail and healthcare continue their upward trend, which was 20,10 and 5 million respectively. On the other side agriculture decreased their job offring advertisment from 5 million to 3 million in year 1980.
The most striking feature of line graph, was last 20 years where manufacturing dramatically decreased job in US almost to 15 million. Retail and healthcare staed at same point 17
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to report the main features of the line graph regarding job sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. However, there are numerous factual errors and misreadings of the data. For instance, the student states that manufacturing offered 'almost 15 millions jobs' in 1980, whereas the graph shows it peaked at 20 million. Furthermore, the response is cut off abruptly at the end with an unfinished sentence ('Retail and healthcare staed at same point 17'). While an overview is attempted, the confusion surrounding data points and the incomplete ending prevent the response from fully addressing all parts of the task effectively, placing it firmly at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by inaccurate data reporting and awkward transitions such as 'It is apparently seen'. Paragraphing is present, but referencing and cohesive devices are often mechanical, inadequate, or confusingly applied (e.g., 'While, manufacturing is at second position...'). Additionally, the sudden cutoff of the final paragraph severely damages the overall cohesion of the text, resulting in a Band 5.0 score for this criterion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'manufacturing', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare', but the lexical range is quite limited and flawed. There are several spelling mistakes ('foure', 'observerd', 'grapgh', 'reatail', 'offring', 'advertisment', 'staed') and word-formation errors ('job offring advertisment' instead of job opportunities). Word choices are frequently imprecise or unnatural. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic ideas about employment sectors, the frequency of errors places it at a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Retail and healthcare sector, offer...'), missing prepositions ('in US' instead of 'in the US'), and awkward phrasing ('the comparison of number of jobs'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also mishandled, culminating in an incomplete sentence fragment at the very end of the essay. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and reflect Band 5.0 performance.
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