Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph show information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US over 60 year period between 1960 and 2020.There are four sectors that are shown in the graph Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Health care.
Overall, which stands out from the graph is that The manufacturing sector was hit the highest figures in 1980, that are 20 millions jobs. But, in 1960, it had 15 millions jobs. After 1980, there is considerably fall in jobs figures which is about 17 millions in 2000, and aproximately 13 millions in 2020.
In retail sector, there was daramaticaly rise in the jobs over the period between 1960 and 2020, and highest figure was 15 millions in 2020.
In agriculture sector, there is significantly fall from 1960 ti 1980
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the graph, noting figures for manufacturing, retail, and agriculture, but it suffers from a significant length penalty as it is only 131 words, falling short of the 150-word minimum. Furthermore, the overview is weak and awkwardly phrased, and the healthcare sector is completely omitted from the summary. While some data points are correctly reported, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 at 20 million, the incomplete coverage of all four sectors and failure to meet the minimum word count restricts the score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic structure, including an introductory sentence and some body paragraphs describing individual trends. However, paragraphing is poorly handled, and the progression of ideas is disjointed. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes misused, as seen in the clumsy transition 'Overall, which stands out from the graph is that...'. There are also abrupt shifts between sectors without clear logical links or comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'considerably fall' instead of 'considerable fall', and 'daramaticaly rise' instead of 'dramatic rise'. Other awkward phrasing includes 'hit the highest figures'. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary, spelling errors and inaccurate forms limit the lexical range to an adequate level for a basic task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response shows a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple clauses and repetitive patterns like 'In [sector] sector, there was...'. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph show'), tense inconsistencies, and preposition errors ('from 1960 ti 1980'). These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a weak control of grammatical accuracy.
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