Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph compares the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, over the four decades, retail and helthcare jobs expreienced an upward trend whereas number of jobs related to manufacturing and agriculture industry dropped down.
The retail jobs started to expand from the approximate number of 6 million in 1960 to almost 16 million in 2020.Healthcare sector jobs started from the lowest count of almost 3 million jobs, ended at the same number as retail in the 2020.These sectors had the clean growth without dropping once in the time period.
Manufacturing jobs were the most saturated in 1960, at 15 million, showed the highest population among other sector, started to increase and there was an addition of 5 million in the previous count in 1980 .The number of manufacturing jobs began to fall in the year 1980 and dropped to the estimate of 13 million in 2020.Agriculture sector had also the decreasing trend.The approximate number of 6 million in jobs in agriculture started dropping down and decreased steadily over the decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The student successfully covers all parts of the task by providing a clear overview and reporting the main trends and data points for all four sectors. The overview effectively captures the upward trajectories of retail and healthcare alongside the downward trends in manufacturing and agriculture. Key figures are accurately reported, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million in 1960 and retail reaching approximately 16 million in 2020. Minor inaccuracies in reading the graph, such as stating that healthcare started at 3 million (it was closer to 2 million) and peaked at the same point as retail in 2020, do not detract from the overall strong performance. The selection of features is well-judged and directly addresses the prompt requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, beginning with a clear introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and then detailed body paragraphs grouping related sectors. The progression of ideas is generally clear throughout the text. However, some cohesive devices and transitions feel slightly abrupt, such as 'These sectors had the clean growth without dropping once in the time period.' Additionally, paragraphing could be slightly more balanced to separate the contrasting sectors more effectively. Referencing is mostly clear, though occasional mechanical transitions keep the score at a solid Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully employing terms like 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'expand', and 'steadily'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'helthcare', 'expreienced', 'clean growth' (instead of steady or consistent growth), and 'saturated' used inaccurately to describe manufacturing job numbers in 1960. These errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the score to a Band 6.0 because the control of less common lexical items lacks precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as using subordinate clauses with 'whereas' and participial phrases. However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors that affect readability, including missing articles ('whereas number of jobs', 'Agriculture sector had also the decreasing trend'), awkward phrasing ('showed the highest population among other sector'), and punctuation spacing issues (e.g., 'started from the lowest count'). While meaning is generally clear and communication is not impeded, the accumulation of structural slips prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
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