Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided line graph depicts the information about the number of employment in Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare in the economy no US from 1960 to 2020. The data was compiled in millions.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that Manufacturing is the sector in which jobs were high.While,Agriculture is the lowest working sector.
After analysing the data it can be observed, Manufacturing area surged between 1960 and in 1980 after that it plummet significantly it was on its peak in 1980 at 20 millions in 2020 it came almost 13.5 millions.Further, Retail in rose maderately over the 60 years it begin with the 5 millions workers and in 2000 it reached at 15 millions in 2020 it was nearly 16 millions.
Moreover, Healthcare sector was also growed like other two sector rapidly in 1960 it was at 3 millions after 1980 in grows without fluctuation in 2020 the figure of Retail and Healthcare was exactly same. Whilst, in the case Agriculture it decreased in 1960 there was approximately 6 millions jobs in the end it had only about 2.5 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address all parts of the task by reporting on the four sectors from the line graph. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the student states that in 1960 Manufacturing was at its peak or that Retail began with 5 million workers (it was actually 6 million), and there are imprecise or slightly inaccurate figures given throughout, such as '13.5 millions' for Manufacturing in 2020 (which is closer to 13). The overview attempts to capture the highest and lowest sectors, but it is somewhat simplistic and inaccurate regarding overall trends (e.g., claiming Manufacturing jobs were consistently high without noting its long-term decline). This places the response firmly at Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The text is organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by poor sentence structure and weak cohesive devices. The use of transitions like 'After analysing the data it can be observed' and 'Moreover, Healthcare sector was also growed' feels mechanical and intrusive. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs is disjointed, leading to confusion when tracking data across years and categories. Referencing is also occasionally unclear. This corresponds to a Band 5 for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with frequent errors in word choice, form, and collocation. Examples include 'number of employment' instead of 'number of jobs', 'Retail in rose maderately' (spelling and grammar error), and 'grows without fluctuation'. Words are often incorrectly inflected or chosen, such as 'plummet significantly' instead of 'plummeted significantly'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic topic of the graph, the noticeable errors and spelling issues ('maderately') cause some difficulty for the reader and restrict the score to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentences, but grammatical control is weak throughout. There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Examples include run-on and comma splice structures such as 'Manufacturing area surged between 1960 and in 1980 after that it plummet significantly it was on its peak', incorrect tense usage like 'Healthcare sector was also growed', and missing prepositions ('in the case Agriculture'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader, matching the descriptor for Band 5.
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