Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line graph provides the details of jobs. there are four sectors of the wealth in the Us connecting 1960 and 2020.

As an overview, in the year of 1960 the agriculture jobs are about 6 percent Besides, it becomes 3 percent in 2020 and the other hand the retail is also 6 percent but in the upcoming years 2020. It becomes 16 percent. the retail ratio is highest as compare to other proportions.

To begin with, both the Agriculture and Retail is 6 percent. By the year of 2020, while, the 3 percent deniable in the farming proportion . Moreover 10 percent increase in merchants.

Moving towards to the rest of the information, the healthcare is around 3 percent in 1960 and grow up to 15 percent in 2020, it climbs the highest jump as parallel to the others sectors. However, the manufacturing part has a wealth around 15 percent in 1960 and it decrease 2 percents in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The student attempts to cover the main features of the graph, including the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and units. For instance, the student refers to percentages ('6 percent', '3 percent', '16 percent') rather than millions of jobs, which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the units on the vertical axis. Furthermore, the overview is embedded awkwardly in the second paragraph with inaccurate data interpretations. While the response identifies some overall trends—such as the decline in agriculture and manufacturing and the rise in retail and healthcare—the numerous inaccuracies in data reporting prevent it from achieving a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response is divided into four paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, logical organization and progression are frequently disrupted. The overview paragraph contains specific data points rather than general trends, and it is confusingly structured. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Besides', 'on the other hand', and 'Moving towards to the rest of the information'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences is often weak, making the progression difficult to follow at times.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The lexical range is very limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic vocabulary and incorrectly uses the word 'wealth' to describe economic sectors ('four sectors of the wealth in the Us'). Other unnatural collocations and word choices appear throughout the text, such as 'deniable in the farming proportion' and 'increase in merchants'. Spelling errors are also present, and the inappropriate use of 'percent' instead of 'million' significantly reduces the precision of the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as tense inconsistencies ('the agriculture jobs are about 6 percent... it becomes 3 percent'), incorrect prepositions ('as compare to other proportions', 'as parallel to the others sectors'), and incomplete or fragmented sentences ('there are four sectors of the wealth in the Us connecting 1960 and 2020.'). These errors frequently strain the reader and obscure the intended meaning.

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