Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United State between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture decreased over the period, while employment in retail and healthcare increased. All the data measured in millions.
In 1960, manufacturing provide around 15 million jobs, which increased to 20 million in 1980. However, the figure then fell gradually to about 17 millions in 2000 and 13 millions in 2020. Agriculture started at approximately 6 millon jobs and dropped to 3 millions in 1980. It remained stable until 2000 before falling to around 20 million in 2020.
In contrast, retail employment rose steadily from 6 million in 1960 to 10millions in 1980, before reaching 15 million in 2000 and about 16 million in 2020. Healtcare also increased significantly from only 20 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million jobs in 1980 and 11 millions in 2000. By 2020, it had reached approximately 16 million equle to retail.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by presenting an overview of the trends and reporting key data points across the four economic sectors. The main features are correctly identified, such as the overall decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. However, there are a few notable data reading errors and typographical mistakes within the figures. For instance, in the third paragraph, the student writes 'around 20 million in 2020' for agriculture, whereas the graph clearly shows it dropped to about 2 million. Similarly, in the final paragraph, 'only 20 million jobs in 1960' is written for healthcare, when the actual starting point is 2 million. These data inaccuracies prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it solidly at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is arranged coherently with a logical overall progression. Information is grouped into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs detailing the decreasing and increasing sectors respectively. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'However', 'In contrast', and 'By 2020'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different categories of data. While referencing is generally clear, paragraphing and logical progression are occasionally let down by mechanical linking and the aforementioned data confusion. Therefore, this section meets the criteria for Band 6.5, showing a clear overall arrangement and logical structure throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, including terms like 'illustrates', 'decreased', 'gradually', 'rose steadily', and 'fluctuated'. There are several attempts to use less common vocabulary and appropriate reporting verbs. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-form errors, such as 'millions' instead of 'million' ('13 millions', '3 millions'), and a major numerical vocabulary error where '20 million jobs' is stated for healthcare in 1960 instead of 2 million. Furthermore, there is a spelling typo in 'Healtcare' and a missing letter in 'equle'. These lexical errors and slips in word choice place the response at a Band 6.0 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and time markers effectively (e.g., 'which increased to 20 million in 1980' and 'before reaching 15 million in 2000'). There are several grammatically correct sentences, and punctuation is generally handled well. However, some grammatical inaccuracies occur, such as subject-verb agreement errors ('manufacturing provide') and missing articles or prepositions. Additionally, structural awkwardness appears in sentences like 'By 2020, it had reached approximately 16 million equle to retail.' Despite these errors, they rarely impede communication, allowing the response to comfortably secure a Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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