Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph below illustrates the insights of the four job sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare in US economoy in the span of 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare is the most prominent job sector among US citizens in 2020. While agriculture consistently had the lowest employment opportunity over the years.
By looking at the details, healthecare sector's job market was in the downside during 1960 which was approximately 2 millions. But eventually it rapidly increased and found it's peak in 2020 that was just above 15 millions. The competitor, retail sector also showed consistent improvement over the years and finally matches with healthcare sector. On the other hand, manufacturing was the top working sector in 1960 with 15 millions of jobs. It met its peak at 20 millions in 1980 which was the best possible year among other job sectors till now. But it gradually decreases after every two decades and it was arround 13 millions in 2020.
Moreover, the agriculture sector seems no growth in job market from 1960 to 2020. It started slightly higher than 5 millions in 1960 and in 2020, it saw declined to arround 2.5 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response successfully covers all four sectors of the economy across the given timeframe, presenting a clear overview and highlighting key trends and comparisons, such as the dramatic rise of healthcare and retail alongside the decline of agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are some minor factual inaccuracies in the data reporting, such as stating that retail and healthcare 'matches with healthcare sector' redundantly, and slight inaccuracies in reading specific year values. The overview could have been slightly better integrated, but overall, the response addresses all parts of the task effectively, earning a solid Band 6.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay is organized into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'While', 'By looking at the details', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and transitions are occasionally slightly mechanical or clumsy, as seen in phrases like 'The competitor, retail sector' and 'By looking at the details'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the logical progression from general trends to specific data points is clear, warranting a Band 6.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully employing terms like 'prominent', 'consistently', 'improvement', and 'gradually decreases'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('economoy', 'healthecare', 'arround') and awkward word choices or collocations ('insights of the four job sectors', 'found it's peak', 'saw declined'). Less common vocabulary is attempted with mixed success. These lexical errors do not seriously impede communication, but they prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response incorporates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as subordinate clauses ('While agriculture consistently had the lowest employment opportunity...') and relative clauses. There are several grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('retail and healthcare is'), unnecessary apostrophes ('it's peak'), and missing articles or prepositions ('in US economoy', 'saw declined'). Despite these errors, the meaning remains largely clear and communication is rarely impeded, supporting a Band 6.0 score.
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