Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph shows the numbers of jobs in four sector of US , the main sectors are manufacturing , Retail, Agriculture and healthcare centre.
Overall,by contrast the retail shows the approximately decline from 6%in 1960 to 10% in 1980 , however the Agriculture shows significant decreased in US economy approximately same inclined from 6% in 1960 to 2% in 1980 , in constrast the healthcare centre increased from 2% in 1960 to 5%in 1980 .
in term of positive espect the the job in manufacturing is increasing as a significant high impact from 15% in1960 to 20% to 1980 is the main feature.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, containing only 103 words. Furthermore, the content suffers from major data inaccuracies. The student misinterprets the axis units as percentages (e.g. '6% in 1960') when the chart measures millions of jobs. The overview attempts to summarize trends, but the descriptions contradict the visual data (e.g. claiming retail shows a decline when it actually increases, and incorrectly stating figures for 1980 instead of tracing trends up to 2020). Because parts of the task are addressed only partially and inaccurately, a low score is warranted.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text suffers from a lack of proper paragraphing, being condensed into a couple of dense, run-on blocks. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'Overall,by contrast the retail shows...' and 'in constrast the healthcare centre...'. The logical progression of ideas is disrupted by confusing transitions and false contrasts, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of data over the sixty-year period.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is extremely limited and repetitive, with basic terms like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'sector'. There are significant word choice and collocation errors, such as using 'positive espect' instead of 'aspect', 'significant high impact', and misinterpreting the data scale as percentages. Spelling and word form errors also appear, such as 'approximatedly' or 'decreased' where a noun or adjective is needed.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very restricted, consisting primarily of clumsy, over-extended simple or poorly linked compound sentences (e.g. 'Overall,by contrast the retail shows the approximately decline...'). There are frequent errors in punctuation, capitalization, and basic sentence construction, such as missing articles, incorrect prepositions ('in term of'), and awkward tense usage. These errors noticeably strain the reader's comprehension.
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