Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph compares the number of jobs in four categries of the economy in the united start from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that, the retail sectors significantly increaded over a period. While, manufacturing had highest job at bagining years. However, by the end of the period it was fall down.
In 1960, manufacturing accounted highest amount of job at 15 millions.Follow by the retail and agriculture were same at around 6 millions jobs. healthcare had lowest figures it was just 3 millions jobs. In addition, healthcare sector rapidly grow over a period at reached high cross 15 millions jobs.
By contrast, Reatail number of jon rose slightly 10 millions jobs in 1980, or 15 millions jobs in year 2000. Whereas agriculture sector
declined by end of the years. less 5 millions jobs between 1980 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all four sectors across the given timeframe, mentioning general trends such as the rise in retail and healthcare, and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are several inaccurate data readings and generalisations. For instance, the student states that healthcare started at '3 millions jobs' when the graph shows 2 million, and claims manufacturing was at 15 million in 1960 (which is correct) but misses that it peaked at 20 million in 1980. Furthermore, the response falls short of the 150-word minimum requirement at 142 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. Overall, the response addresses the prompt partially with some under-developed and inaccurate reporting of key features.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is divided into an introduction and three body paragraphs, attempting an overall summary. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by poor sentence structure and disjointed transitions. For example, paragraphs begin abruptly with phrases like 'In 1960, manufacturing accounted highest amount...' without smooth linking. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'While, manufacturing had highest job at bagining years. However, by the end of the period it was fall down.' Referencing is sometimes unclear, and paragraphing is underdeveloped due to the short overall length of the essay. Overall, the organisation is mechanical and faulty.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a limited and minimally adequate vocabulary range suitable for describing basic trends ('increaded', 'grow', 'rose slightly', 'declined'). There are noticeable spelling and word formation errors throughout the text, such as 'categries', 'united start', 'bagining', and 'Reatail'. The student also struggles with appropriate collocations and word forms, writing 'accounted highest amount of job' instead of 'accounted for the highest number of jobs', and 'high cross 15 millions' instead of 'surpassing 15 million'. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted lexical repertoire.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writer uses a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. Complex structures are attempted but are generally faulty, as seen in 'While, manufacturing had highest job at bagining years.' There are persistent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('accounted highest amount', 'healthcare had lowest figures'), incorrect verb tenses and forms ('was fall down', 'rapidly grow... at reached'), and preposition errors. Punctuation is also problematic, with comma splices and misplaced periods breaking up logical thoughts. Communication is frequently hindered by these grammatical inaccuracies.
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