Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph tracks the data about the numerous jobs in four division of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
first of all the manufacturing jobs in 1960 is 15M and then increased in 1980 from 15M to 20M,and then gradually dropping round about 16M in 2000 and more decreased to 13M in 2020.In 1960 the retailer and agriculture are on the same place like 6M in 1960 but suddenly they gone contradictory from one another. The retailer is grown up to 10M in 1980 in contrast the agriculture reduced from 6M to 3M in 1980 and then steady to 2000, and become more lessen to 2M in 2020. Neverthless, the retailer is boosting from 10M to 15M in 2000, slowly it is rise to 15.6M.
The final occupation is very crucial which is healthcare and it was 3M in 1960 but rose it to 5M in 1980 and then a huge escalation occurs and reached to 15.5M in this four decades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all four economic sectors shown in the line graph, providing figures for key years such as 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020. Key features like the peak in manufacturing and the significant rise in healthcare jobs are reported. However, there is no overall summary or clear overview statement provided, which is an essential requirement for Band 6 and above in Academic Task 1. Some data points contain minor inaccuracies, such as stating that healthcare was 3M in 1960 when the graph indicates it started at approximately 2M. Furthermore, the response is somewhat fragmented in its presentation of data trends, lacking a fully synthesized overview. Overall, it addresses the task adequately but misses key structural elements required for higher bands.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response exhibits some organization, but the overall progression is disrupted by poor paragraphing and a lack of cohesive devices. The entire body of information is crammed into a single block of text following the introduction, with no logical partitioning by sector or time period. Cohesive devices are either missing, repetitive, or inaccurate, such as starting sentences with 'first of all' and 'Neverthless'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the relationships between data points. While the reader can generally discern which sector is being discussed, the mechanical and inadequate use of cohesion limits the score to a Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate to communicate basic trends, featuring terms like 'increased', 'dropping', 'reduced', and 'escalation'. However, the range is quite limited, and there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'numerous jobs in four division', 'retailer' used instead of 'retail', 'gone contradictory', and 'become more lessen'. Spelling and morphological issues are also present, including 'Neverthless' and 'it is rise'. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent errors in tense consistency and subject-verb agreement, such as 'the manufacturing jobs in 1960 is 15M', 'the retailer and agriculture are on the same place', and 'rose it to 5M'. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and missing capitalization at the beginning of sentences (e.g., 'first of all'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader, though the core meaning remains partially understandable, aligning well with Band 5.0 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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