Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph represents figur of jobs in four areas of the economy inthe US between 19 and 2020.

Looking at the information in more detail, begin with four categories of economy in US, as manufacturing over there 15 jobs in millions in 1960, when approximetely up to 5 millions jobs in retail and agriculture, and around 3 millions jobs in healthcare. Further, a marked increase was observed in 1980 in manufacturing about 5 millions more than 1960 years, when significantly rise in 1980 in retail as 4 millions jobs than before, but marginally decease in simalar year in agriculture. By comparison the highest jobs record in manufacturing than others.

Overeall, the most noteble feature was sharp rise in 1980 in manufacturing and significantly lower in 2020 in magricultu

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is significantly under-length, containing only 128 words against the required 150-word minimum, which heavily restricts Task Achievement. Furthermore, the student fails to complete the writing (the final sentence is cut off mid-word as 'magricultu') and misses major trends across the 60-year period, such as the dramatic overtake of healthcare and retail over manufacturing. While some data points from 1960 and 1980 are attempted, figures are often confused or inaccurate (e.g., writing '15 jobs in millions' and stating there were 'around 3 millions jobs in healthcare' in 1960 when the chart shows 2 million). Due to the missing word count, incomplete ending, and limited coverage of key features, it falls into Band 4.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response shows some organisational structure with a basic introduction and body details, but overall progression is hindered by poor referencing and abrupt phrasing ('begin with four categories'). Paragraphing is disjointed, and the final sentence is incomplete, breaking the logical flow entirely. Cohesive devices are either missing, mechanical, or misused (e.g., 'Further', 'By comparison'). Pronoun referencing and signposting are weak, making it difficult to follow comparisons between the four sectors over time. This level of organisation aligns with Band 4.0 descriptors, where information is not fully arranged coherently.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily flawed. The student misspells common words and data terms repeatedly, such as 'figur' for figure, 'approximetely', 'decease' for decrease, and 'noteble' for notable. Phrasing is awkward and unidiomatic throughout, such as 'highest jobs record' and 'significantly rise'. There is also a major truncation at the end ('magricultu'). The lexical range is minimal and strained, leading to frequent errors that impede communication and fit the Band 4.0 descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on fragmented, incomplete, or incorrectly structured clauses. Sentences frequently lack main verbs or proper grammatical constituents (e.g., 'begin with four categories of economy in US, as manufacturing over there 15 jobs in millions'). There are persistent errors in prepositions, tense usage, and sentence boundaries. Additionally, the response cuts off mid-sentence at the end. Because errors are frequent, severe, and frequently distort meaning, the performance reflects a Band 4.0 score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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