Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the insight regarding the jobs offered in the USA over the period of 60 years between 1960 to 2020 in four sectors of the economy.
Overall, the retail and the healthcare sector had grown continuously over the period. Whereas, the agriculture sector had been conituously declined. The manufacturing sector had showed incline in the jobs for 20 years but then decreased significantly.
Firstly, the retail sector started with the 6 million jobs in 1960 and increased steadily to 10 million in 1980. This figure continued to rise and reached 15 million in 2000, before increasing slightly to approximately 16 million in 2020. Similarly, the healthcare sector also experienced a significant growth throughout the period. It began at only 2 million jobs in 1960, and then increased to 5 million in 1980. After that, the number of jobs rose considerably to around 11 million in 2000 and finally reached about 16 million in 2020.
In contrast, the number of jobs in agriculture declined over the period. In 1960, there were approximately 6 million jobs in this sector. However, this figure fell to around 3 million in 1980 and remained almost unchanged at this level in 2000. By 2020, employment in agriculture decreased further to approximately 2 million jobs.Finally, manufacturing showed a different trend. It started with 15 million jobs in 1960 and reached a peak of 20 million in 1980. However, the number then declined to 17 million in 2000 and fell further to approximately 13 million in 2020. Therefore, manufacturing remained one of the largest sectors despite its overall decline after 1980.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The student covers all parts of the task well, providing a clear overview and reporting key features and comparisons for all four economic sectors across the given timeline. Data points such as the 1960 starting figures and 2020 ending figures are accurately referenced. For instance, the student notes that the retail sector started with 6 million jobs in 1960 and rose to approximately 16 million in 2020. The overview effectively captures the main trends, noting the continuous growth of retail and healthcare alongside the decline of agriculture and manufacturing after 1980. The information is well-selected and directly supported by the visual data. Minor awkward phrasing in the introduction does not prevent the response from fully satisfying the requirements of this criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is logically organized with clear progression throughout. It is divided into logical paragraphs, with the first body paragraph addressing retail and healthcare, and the second covering agriculture and manufacturing. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well to guide the reader through the data, using expressions like 'Similarly', 'In contrast', and 'Finally'. However, there are minor cohesion and referencing flaws, such as the awkward opening sentence ('The line graph illustrates the insight regarding...') and some mechanical transitions. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related sectors together, ensuring the overall structure remains clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms related to trends such as 'increased steadily', 'rise', 'declined', and 'peak'. Less common lexical items are attempted, including 'employment' and 'fluctuated' (though primarily standard descriptive verbs are used). There are a few spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'conituously' instead of 'continuously' and 'showed incline' instead of 'showed an incline', along with minor article slips ('started with the 6 million jobs'). Nevertheless, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly without impeding communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms effectively, incorporating subordinate clauses and time markers like 'before increasing slightly to approximately 16 million in 2020'. There is good control over past tense narrative structures required for historical data. Grammatical errors are relatively infrequent; however, minor slips occur, such as unnecessary articles ('started with the 6 million jobs') and occasional awkward phrasing. The majority of sentences are grammatically sound, and punctuation is handled well throughout the essay, demonstrating a solid command of sentence structure suitable for a Band 7 score.
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