Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
As we can see the graph showing information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020
In 1960 to 1980 the Manufactring jobs in US are gradually growing upto 20% and then it going down to 12% in 2020 after that the Retail jobs in 1960 to 2000 are growing from 6% to 15% then from 2000 to 2020 they have a little pump and stand on 16.5%
From 1960 to 1980 the Agriculture jobs going down from 6.5% to 0.3% and then it gose stedy and after 2000 it become down upto 0.2% in 2020 in US . after that from 1960 to 2020 the healthcare jobs are grown from 0.2% to 16% in US
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping at only 126 words, which negatively impacts Task Achievement. While the student attempts to cover the four economic sectors across the given timeframe, the data reporting is frequently inaccurate and confused. For instance, percentages are used instead of millions, and figures like Agriculture dropping to '0.3%' or healthcare starting at '0.2%' misrepresent the visual data. The overview is missing, and the response lacks a clear summary of the overall trends, presenting information in a fragmented way.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text suffers from poor organisational structure and lacks proper paragraphing, presented mostly as a continuous block with run-on sentences. Cohesive devices are minimal or misused, such as repetitive transitions like 'after that'. There is a lack of logical progression, making it difficult to follow the relationships between the data points over time. Pronoun referencing is weak, and the lack of full stops or punctuation in places further disrupts the flow of information.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent misuses such as 'pump' instead of 'bump' or plateau, and 'stedy' (steady). The misuse of units (using percentages instead of millions of jobs) severely limits lexical appropriateness for an Academic Task 1 response. Attempts at less common vocabulary are absent, and spelling errors like 'Manufactring' further restrict the score to a lower band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The writing is characterized by run-on sentences and a lack of proper punctuation. There are numerous grammatical errors, such as 'jobs in US are gradually growing' (missing articles and subject-verb agreement issues) and tense inconsistencies like 'it gose stedy and after 2000 it become down'. Complex structures are largely absent, and simple sentences frequently contain foundational errors that impede clear communication.
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