Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of the economey in US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, in 1960 manufacturing have very large amount of job 15 millions. In retail and agriculture both have 6 millions jobs in 1960 and Healthcare have only 3 millions jobs and it have stadeily increased in number of jobs.
In 1960 manufacruring accounted for approximately 15 millions jobs comapre with retail and agriculture both have 6 million jobs. Manufacturing jobs has rose to the top of 20 million in 1980. After that this jobs is steadily decrase 17 millions in 2000 and 13 millions in 2020. Retail, meanwhile have number of jobs increase steadily 10 million jobs in 1980 and 15 million jobs in 2000 and approximately 16 million jobs in 2020.
The number of jobs in healthcare is also increased consistensly in 1960 there are only 3 million jobs in agriculture and in 1980 the number is 5 million after that 12 million jobs in 2000 and in 2020 the number employment is 16 million in Healthcare. Aggriculture, the emplyment is aggricuture is decarease steadily 6 million on 1960 and then fell in to 4 million in 1980 and remained stable till 2000 and then decrease to 2 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover all sectors shown in the graph (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) across the given period from 1960 to 2020. However, there are numerous data inaccuracies and misreadings throughout the text. For instance, the student states that in 1960 'Healthcare have only 3 millions jobs' and later claims that in 1960 'there are only 3 million jobs in agriculture', whereas the chart shows healthcare started at 2 million and agriculture at 6 million. Furthermore, the description of healthcare in 2000 is confused with agriculture numbers. While an overview is attempted, it lacks clarity and contains factual errors regarding the visual data. The task is addressed only partially due to these frequent data discrepancies.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response lacks clear paragraphing, with most ideas compressed into a continuous block of text or poorly structured paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively (e.g., 'After that this jobs is steadily decrase', 'Retail, meanwhile have number of jobs increase'). The overall progression of information is difficult to follow because sentences are often disjointed and logical transitions between periods and sectors are missing. Referencing is frequently unclear, leaving the reader confused about which data point is being discussed. This places the response in the lower-middle band for cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple verbs like 'have', 'is', 'increase', and 'decrease'. There are frequent lexical errors and misspellings throughout the text, such as 'economey', 'stadeily', 'manufacruring', 'decrase', 'consistensly', and 'Aggriculture'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with very low accuracy, and word forms are often misused (e.g., 'number employment' instead of 'employment'). The limited range and recurrent errors constrain communication and restrict the score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response shows a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing have', 'Healthcare have', 'Retail, meanwhile have'), incorrect tense usage, and missing auxiliary verbs (e.g., 'jobs has rose', 'emplyment is aggricuture is decarease'). Complex sentence attempts are heavily flawed and ungrammatical. Errors are frequent and often impede the reader's understanding of the intended meaning.
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